March 29th, 2007 at 15:00 by Stuart Heritage
When you ve adopted as many kids as Angelina Jolie, you start to learn all kinds of lessons - like how to say We don t like Jennifer Aniston, do we in Vietnamese - but protecting your adopted children from kidnap probably isn t among them.
Nevertheless, a plot has apparently been uncovered to kidnap Angelina Jolie s newest adopted baby Pax Thien and hold him hostage for a 50 million ransom. And, accordingly, it s thought that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have stepped up their security to brand new levels to make sure nothing like this ever happens to Pax Thien or any of their other children again.

Paying for extra security is obviously the wisest move, since a kidnap would mean that Angelina Jolie would need to make ten more Tomb Raider sequels to cover the cost of the 50 million ransom. Those kidnappers sure are one bunch of sick bastards to want to put us through that.
Aside from making films that never quite live up to expectations and laughing at pictures of Jennifer Aniston all day, nothing is more important to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt than the safety of their children.

It s as plain as the nose on your face; Angelina Jolie s beefed-up security guards are always or or . Those security guards are pretty much all over any threat posed to Angelina Jolie and her children by any photographers with the nerve to take pictures without first. Well, photographers and , of course.

And now Angelina Jolie s security can add potential baby kidnappers too, after they apparently foiled a gang s effort to snatch and hold him to ransom for 50 million - or $98 million - as The Sun reports:
Bodyguards heard of a ldquo;credible and meticulously planned rdquo; bid to snatch the newly adopted three-year-old as he was flown back from Vietnam. The Hollywood couple would have a few days to pay up or risk the boy rsquo;s LIFE, it was alleged. The gang behind the plot has a track record for pulling off kidnappings, US reports claim.

A security insider said: ldquo;They rsquo;re highly skilled operatives with little regard for human life. The gang ordered their LA members to devise a plan to kidnap Pax before demanding a ransom of 50million mdash; equal to the profit from a year of drug dealing. rdquo;
The fear of having one of their children kidnapped and held to ransom must be impossibly worrying for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - but at least they both have the ability to protect Pax Thien and their other children by utilising skills picked up during their long movie careers.

For instance, both Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were in Mr Mrs Smith, which means they must have a vast knowledge of firearms between them. Also, Brad Pitt must still remember some swordfighting lessons from his time on Troy, and Angelina Jolie was in Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow - which means that she ll always be ready to save Pax Thien s life by flying an aeroplane with an eyepatch on and cackling a lot.
It s worth pointing out, of course, that Brad Pitt s slaves have denied that there is any truth whatsoever in this story.

And there might be some credence in that, since only a really stupid gang would want to kidnap a boy that Angelina Jolie only adopted a few weeks ago - we always thought that the first lesson of kidnapping school was that the big money is always with the biological kids.