March 23rd, 2007 at 14:30 by Stuart Heritage
The Anna Nicole Smith DNA paternity case has been pretty clear-cut so far - Howard K Stern is the evil one, Prince Frederic von Anhalt is the mental one and Larry Birkhead is the nice one - but now Larry s status might switch from nice to creepy .
Although Larry Birkhead has long been the popular favourite to be named as the father of Anna Nicole Smith s baby - partly because he seems to make a good case for it and partly because he s not Howard K Stern - he s decided that the potential hundreds of millions of dollars that he d get as Dannielynn Hope s father isn t enough, and has trademarked the creepy phrase Goodnight, My Sweet Anna Baby for use in movies, books, TV shows, internet shows and stageplays as well. Luckily, though, Larry Birkhead hasn t trademarked Goodnight, My Sweet Anna Baby for use on novelty stationary - so we re taking that for ourselves.
We re guessing that kids will love our range of horrific clown-faced Anna Nicole Smith pencil cases that menacingly intone the phrase Goodnight, my sweet Anna baby each time they re unzipped.
Hey, if everyone else is making a buck off Anna Nicole Smith, we may as well join in too
Funny day today. Yesterday it was all excitement about the and on Monday we might be hearing as well as the paternity test results - but today?
You ll be pleased to know we haven t stooped to the level yet, but the interest you ll have in this story is entirely dependent on how much you enjoy reading about photographers cashing in on the recent death of their pornstar ex-girlfriends.
Larry Birkhead was a complete unknown until , at which point Larry Birkhead stepped out of the fog to . For months, before and after Anna Nicole Smith s death, Larry Birkhead was constantly pressuring them to to prove the fatherhood of the baby once and for all.
And thanks to Larry Birkhead s aw shucks persona, apparent genuine concern for the wellbeing of Dannielynn, and nicer-looking face than Howard K Stern, the public seems to believe that Larry Birkhead is the true father of Anna Nicole Smith s baby.
If Larry Birkhead gets named as the father of Anna Nicole Smith s daughter, he stands to make hundreds of millions of dollars from Anna Nicole s marriage to that almost-dead billionaire dude a few years ago - but if he isn t found to be the father, Larry Birkhead has secured himself a little nestegg by trademarking the phrase Goodnight, My Sweet Anna Baby anyway, as ABC reports:
Earlier this month, the former photographer and Entourage actor trademarked the phrase Goodnight, My Sweet Anna Baby for use in movies, books, TV programs, Internet programs and stage plays. The expression is what Birkhead claims Smith used to make him say to her every night.
I said, Goodnight My Sweet Anna Baby. That s what she wanted me to say every night before she went to sleep, Birkhead told Access Hollywood earlier this month. On his Web site last month, Birkhead posted a poem that ended with the words, My heart is broken, my tears are endless.
She called me her angel, I called her my sweet potato, and every night before we went to sleep, she made me say to her hellip; GOODNIGHT MY SWEET ANNA BABY ANNA NICOLE SMITH 1967-2007.
Is anyone else clawing at their creeped-out skin with their fingernails yet? No?
Just us? Anyway, we re particularly looking forward to seeing how Larry Birkhead uses this trademark, but we want him to heed this warning - we ll only go and see a stage musical of Anna Nicole Smith s life entitled Goodnight My Sweet Anna Baby if the penultimate song is called Why Anna (You ve Painted Your Face Like A Nightmarish Clown Again).
Oh, and not to be outdone, Howard K Stern has also trademarked an Anna Nicole Smith phrase for similar use - Eat This Methadone!
Eat It! Eat It! That Money s Mine, You Hear?
MINE! .
Yeah, OK.
That last bit isn t true in the slightest.
So what if he trademarked the phrase? The guy s been fucked around by HK$ and ANS for MONTHS.
It s about time he started fighting back by any means
necessary. He s probably doing it so his personal (albeit corny) words don t end up in some cheesy movie of the week or in some song or anywhere else.
If he makes a few bucks in the process, then good for him!
And let s not be hypocritical here. If you guys weren t as wrapped up in the whole sordid mess as everyone else is you wouldn t report on it.
Don t try and act like you re above ANYTHING.
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