NOBODY UNDER 40 grows a mustache anymore, unless, of course, he's getting paid for it.
It's like a monocle. You can't be 25 and wearing a monocle.
You have to be at least 75. (Or a peanut.)
In the case of the mustache, there'd better be money involved for sporting that flavor saver.
At Relative Theory Records and The Boot restaurant in Norfolk, that's what's happening. Some employees are sprouting hair on their upper lips - for irony and charity.
They want people to pledge money for their mustaches.
They want people to pay them for what their body does naturally. They want, quite simply, cash for the 'stache.
By the end of the month, they're hoping to raise $5,000 for the Hampton Roads nonprofit For Kids, which aims to end homelessness for local children.
This isn't a hair-brained idea. In Seattle last year, a group raised more than $10,000 on mustaches for a nonprofit writing center for children. Another group based out of Los Angeles called Mustaches for Kids has raised $150,000 since 1999.
At one time the group had chapters in Richmond and Charlottesville.
Think of everyone you know under 40 with a mustache. Just a mustache.
Not a beard or a goatee, an honest-to-goodness push broom.
OK. Now subtract from that list those who have grown the mustache ironically.
(The guy from "My Name Is Earl" is not real.)
Call me David Blaine, but I know the number you came up with: zero.
How do I know?
Because the mustache is dying. As a result, those people who have mustaches get attention, and in this case, money.
In Norfolk, the local guys have posted pictures of themselves and their mustaches on the Web site www.
moustachemay.com nearly every day this month. They've raised $335 in online pledges.
That doesn't sound like a lot, but it pays for dental checkups for three children and a field trip for 20 children. All they did was one of the easiest things in the world: not shave.
Jamie Petro is one of the guys growing a mustache for charity.
He has a long history with mustaches. His dad had one. Specifically, he describes his dad's mustache as a "Navy pilot" mustache.
Petro describes what's growing on his own face as an upside-down horseshoe.
While the whiskers received little comment among his family, his mother gave him a slight compliment: She liked it better than the beard he was growing previously.
In one picture last week, Petro posed in front of one of the all-time great kings of mustachio, Tom Selleck.
Before the end of the month, Petro's considering making his own mustache pencil-thin.
"It's a funny way of bringing attention to it," he said. "Basically, it's a bunch of guys showing their love for the mustache.
"
Now and then, Petro will forget about the mustache, and someone will mention it to him. He'll thank them and hand them a laminated red business card the group printed out. The cards boast "growing and showing" and send people to the Web site to make online donations.
The enthusiasm online is entertaining. We've known for years the mustache is great and mysterious. But who knew, as one donor wrote, that "moustaches can change the world"?
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