IT SEEMS all you have to do these days is put "Earth" in the title of an event to make it worthy. Take Live Earth, where rock stars preached about how we should live to save the planet then flew home in private jets. The motto for Live Earth should really have been do as we say, not as we do .
Take Mother Earth herself - also known by her stage name Madonna. Her annual carbon footprint, according to Carbon Footprint representative John Buckley, is 1018 tonnes - about 92 times the 11 tonnes of an average person. Must be all those worthy flights to Africa choosing cute children to save.
But Madonna also has financial links to some of the world's biggest polluters. The Ray of Light Foundation, a charitable fund established by the star to support her worthy causes, has $4.2 million of shares in companies including Alcoa - the American aluminium giant, the Ford Motor Company and Weyerhaeuser, an international forest products company.
All have been criticised by environmentalists. However, never mind that Live Earth has achieved nothing - except maybe an increase in record sales - because now I give you the next worthy cause: Miss Earth Australia. Forget Miss World and Miss Universe.
This is the next generation in beauty pageants in which the wellbeing of the environment is nurtured by attractive and dynamic Australian women. Miss Earth Australia is (also) our only national beauty pageant that simultaneously promotes young women and environmental issues. But do these women look like they use organic make-up and wind machines instead of blow dryers?
Are their locks coloured by natural dyes and their outfits made from only natural materials? Are their tiaras made of stones from the earth? So what does it take to be a Miss Earth Australia entrant and hopefully go on to Manila to compete for the Miss Earth International crown?
According to Miss Earth Australia president Robert James: Our candidates come from communities in every part of Australia where they encourage locals to plant trees and to adopt many other effective pain-free steps. Trees are objects of beauty which clean our heavily polluted atmosphere by extracting carbon dioxide, he tells us. I wonder if that logging island of Tasmania has an entrant?
For anyone wanting to attend this show-stopping (but more importantly worthy) event that will include singing and dancing , then ride your environmentally friendly bike to the Enmore Theatre on September 13 safe in the knowledge you are doing your bit to save the Earth. Poo and his women stink FEW reality television programs have sunk so low as Channel 7's Age of Love Watching 30-year-old Mark Philippoussis (pictured) look like he's going to be physically ill at the prospect of dating older women confirms long-held suspicions he's an immature, superficial bloke. But when, in the following episode, a group of bitchy younger beauties arrives to compete for his affection against the older cougars , you can only cringe.
They must have the combined IQ (Philippoussis included) of two ferrets. By episode three, it has become a textbook example of how women can be their own worst enemies. A 40-something cougar tragically admits: I'm here because I want to be in love and because the biological clock is ticking.
Meanwhile her younger competitors snidely refer to menopause, with one bimbette even crassly declaring: We're going to win because we can still have babies. SILVERCHAIR frontman Daniel Johns' sense of humour left nobody laughing this week. Having told Triple J listeners he spent an afternoon smoking marijuana with his wife Natalie Imbruglia, Opposition environment spokesman Peter Garrett and U2 lead singer Bono, he was later forced into an embarrassing backdown.
Probably only after someone pointed out to him the ramifications of saying a federal MP and an outspoken anti-drug campaigner do drugs. Notable by its absence, though, was any denial that his wife doesn't. THE idiocy - and vanity - of some parents knows no bounds.
To pay photographers to digitally remove pimples, whiten teeth and even do nose jobs on their offspring's school snaps is surely damaging. Granted I have cringed when my parents produced old school photos of me to boyfriends but at least I recognise myself in them. Imagine the battering it does to a child's self-esteem and body image.
Kids look the way they do because of their parents' genes. Perhaps some couples had plastic surgery before they met and pretend they have no idea why they have such ugly offspring. What is this?
Post to del.icio.us Post to Newsvine Also in Editorials Fear of a global 'coldening' Miss Earth on the bandwagon Danger of vote going to pot Wanting justice, not swift result Proof all pilots are ratbags IT SEEMS all you have to do these days is put "Earth" in the title of an event to make it worthy.
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