Reese Witherspoon - Defamer

Things may not have ended well between America's Current Sweetheart and her , underemployed ex-husband, , but the couple appears to be : Reese is reportedly in , and the divorce proceedings appear to be :

In a response filed Tuesday, Phillippe also cited irreconcilable differences but asked for joint legal custody and physical custody of the children as well as visitation granted "to both parties, equally allocated." [..

.] The documents filed with the court in November and this week do not list separate or community property, saying the nature of the assets has yet to be determined.

Here's comes Spider-Man 3!

But how much will it make on its domestic opening weekend, after breaking records in 10 of the 16 territories in which it's already playing? Experts agree: a fucking shitload. [ ]
But!

Is THR playing the hype card? We're reminded that the beginning of the summer blockbuster season is always accompanied by the loss of "all sense of perspective." Whatever.

This movie's doing $400 million in three days, we can feel it. [ ]
· 's Type A Films is developing an adaptation of Rebecca Godfrey's Under the Bridge, the "true-crime account of a brutal high school murder." With no superhero angle to speak of and no prospects of breaking Pirates 2's box office record, why are we wasting time on this?

Our theory: Witherspoon is in talks to play Mary Jane in Spidey-4. [ ]
· will star opposite Edward Norton in next summer's The Incredible . Opening weekend prediction: a disappointing $37 million.

Hey, no Spider-Man cameo. [ ]
Thursday night's special, two-hour, spinoff-introducing Grey's Anatomy holds the show's usual viewership, so get ready to enjoy Dr. Addison's romantic misadventures on a weekly basis this Fall.

(Did we really hear Tim Daly say, "I'm going to kiss you with tongue?" Maybe they're saving the snappier, "I'm going to place my penis inside you. Then move it around" banter for the actual series.

) [ ]
Please excuse the somewhat alarmist headline, but given all the stress caused us this morning, Variety's "Inside Moves" column has us momentarily worried about the safety of America's New Big Screen Sweetheart, , who has mysteriously dropped out of a project that was :

There's been a curious development regarding the Spyglass-financed remake of "Bunny Lake Is Missing": Reese Witherspoon is missing. And she's the picture's star and producer. Five weeks before production was skedded to begin, Witherspoon abruptly dropped out of the film, much to the chagrin of director Joe Carnahan.

Beyond the late notice, the exit is surprising because Witherspoon and Type A Films partner Jennifer Simpson were aboard to produce with Mark Gordon.

Fortunately for our already frazzled nerves, the story may contain a crucial clue as to Witherspoon's whereabouts:
· Want to read more about the Dixie Chicks' big night at the ? Of course you do.

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· unexpectedly ditches Endeavor (her home for just a year) for CAA after being promised that if she signed with the evil agenting monolith, the committed mother's young children would never be featured as lunch specials at their new headquarters. Rumors that the agency's pitch also included an ominous pledge to "take care" of ex-husband Ryan Phillippe should he ever "become a problem" are unconfirmed. [ ]
The Grammys recover nicely from last year's humiliating buggering at the hands of American Idol, as seeking refuge on an Idol-free Sunday night leads to an 18 percent boost over 2006's all-time low ratings.

[ ]
MTV Networks announces a "sweeping round" of layoffs in a variety of divisions, with the death toll expected to reach 250 staff positions. Happy Monday! [ ]
· In today's WTF?

news (but really, doesn't each new Cage gig announcement elicit that kind of reaction?), Nicholas Cage is attached to star in 's live-action adaptation of The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Luckily, he'll play the sorcerer, not an off-puttingly intense dancing broom.

[ ]
In a story that will chill you to the very bone and render completely useless everything you thought you knew about the unimpeachable ethics of public relations firms that service celebrities, Page Six reports that has fired crisis management firm Sitrick and Co. for fabricating some utterly bland quotes about the break-up of his marriage that were used in an In Touch cover story. Shocking accusations of

"We hired him.

We out-sourced," explained a BWR spokeswoman, giving the official story. "We thought we might need the extra help, but we didn't. It turned out, smaller is better.

" Unofficially, an insider said the flacks at Sitrick "gave a fake story to In Touch. They did a not-kosher thing, and that's uncool. They [bleep]ing lied.

"

In what must be mortgage-payment time around the law offices of Lavely Singer, the firm has issued their of the week.

The copiously worded, 14-page document, made by TMZ.com, basically boils down to the following sentiment: "Dear Star Magazine: How dare you say I look ?!

I'm suing you! Love, ."

In the lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the Academy Award-winning actress claims the magazine published a false story that she was pregnant "in a callous effort to boost the tabloid's sagging sales.

" "Contrary to the fabricated Cover Story," the lawsuit says, "the true facts are that [Reese] is not pregnant, does not have a 'baby bump' and has not otherwise gained weight such that she has had to resort to wearing 'Empire-waist dresses,' 'baggy clothing,' or an 'old-fashioned 1920's bathing suit.'"

No matter that a false hypothesis of is perceived as one of the most innocuous of tabloid-concocted, celebrity fictions: The livid actress is demanding damages in "an amount appropriate to punish or set an example of Defendants." And rather than make grandiose pronouncements of innocence backed by Constitutional law, we recommend that Star cave in to Witherspoon's every demand, lest they intend to face her .