May 21, 2007 -- IMMA buy u a drank/ Imma take you home with me/I got money in the bank/Shawty whachu think bout that/Find me in the gray Cadillac/We in the bed like/Ooh ooh ohh, ooh ooh That s the No. 1 song in America - Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin ), by T-Pain featuring Yung Joc - a record composed by text message for the sole purpose of being a ringtone. For those unfamiliar, or still trying to figure out why Mims is hot, T-Pain believes shawty will be impressed by the fact that he can afford bottle service - or perhaps by his clever use of vowels.
Drank is also unrelentingly, mind-numbingly stupid, from Yung Joc overpaying at the club ( 150 a shot?) to T-Pain s use of a robotic vocal modulator to stay on key. But don t cry for Mr.
T. His problems with tense only kick off what could be the dumbest Top 10 in the history of the Billboard charts. Take No.
2, Makes Me Wonder, in which Maroon 5 becomes the latest pop group to reinvent itself as the Bee Gees. It begins: Lead singer Adam Levine delivers this come-on with such flat inflection (he barely changes facial expression in the video) that he could be reading the recipe for deviled eggs. Wonder is a song so calculated to be catchy - funk-bassline verse, falsetto chorus, bridge - yet so devoid of energy that it may have been written by an iMac.
Beware if Levine discovers the video game Guitar Hero - the next album will sound like Foreigner. For bad makeovers, though, no one tops Avril Lavigne, who has exchanged grrl power for puerile. Most of her song, Girlfriend, which clocks in at No.
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