2007-01-07T18:20:00.000-08:00
I teach high school business education. br / WH is also a teacher. We are at the SAME SCHOOL.
br / br / I have a question for all of you...
br / br / My WH had the OW come to school during the summer and he took sexually explicit pictures of her IN HIS OFFICE! The same office where I ate lunch with him every damn day. br / br / Back to the question I have.
..the pictures are ONLY of her face.
You can, in a couple of them, see a little bit of the background of his office. My mother had access to them for a short amount of time and now HATES my WH. Somebody has been sending him taunting e-mails telling him he is going to pay with his job.
..etc.
I suspect it is my mom. I don't think she would actually do anything but..
. br / br / Would this situation in itself get him fired? I have reviewed the teaching code of ethics and it does not point to this specifically.
I know plenty of other teachers who have had sex at work (not that I condone it). How much trouble could this get him in if his boss were given a "head's up"? I also am not sure if OW has copies in her posession.
WH says no...
but I am not in a place where I believe anything he says. br / br / I would really welcome your input. His behavior disgusts me.
..but I am trying to soul search and decide if I can reconcile.
br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I want the fairy tale...
" --from the movie "Pretty Woman" br / Both: 33yo, married 8 yrs, dday sept 06, physical affair #1 started nov 01, secret female validations started may 99, separated since 9/06 (Dday), 2 daughters 13yrs 5yrs br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 91 | Registered: Dec 2006 br / Ole Restart br / Member br / Member # 3434 Posted: 12:56 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I used to be an elementary/Kg teacher (5 years total). Graduate school came later on for me, but I got to know my current hubby, during that time. br / What's so strange about our sitch is that my hubby can't stand teachers based on his youthful experiences!
I can't say that I blame him, either! I've heard some stories that would've made, even me, leave school all together!!
br / br / The FOW had been a teacher, too, and has her masters degree just like I do!! Maybe, hubby was a 'glutton for punishment', or something, to have an A.
with her, and continue like nothing was wrong with me (during his A.)??
?? br / br / I wish that I knew what to tell you about your own sitch; but I don't have any real experience with such things in a 'school environment'.
My heart goes out to you, sadteacher!! It must be hard to see him everyday in the same places where he spent time with the bitch AND you?
??!
! br / br / God bless you! br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Time wounds all heels; and heals all wounds!
br / Me: FBW, 55; He: FWH, 79. br / Married: 12 yrs. br / Reconciled.
br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 9050 | Registered: Feb 2004 | From: San Antonio, TX br / hurtbs br / Member br / Member # 10866 Posted: 3:21 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / FWH BW FSOW are all teachers. Nice huh? The rumor mill has churned so thoroughly.
br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me BW br / Him FWH Jekyll br / DDay - April 2006 br / A - 10 weeks br / July 2006 - Decided to R br / "Character building experiences suck! Why couldn't you have made me mow more lawns as a child?!
" br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 2141 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: TX br / ghostofmyself br / Member br / Member # 11904 Posted: 3:36 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I teach. But I have no idea about your question. br / ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 1455 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: cali br / cantlivewithouth br / Member br / Member # 11939 Posted: 5:59 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I am a teacher as well.
I teach severe disabilities at the high school level. br / I know in our county teachers have lost their job over that. It is unacceptable behavior.
br / br / I am so glad I teach what I do because I am so out of the loop as far as the gossip at school. I am just finding out things that happened two years ago. br / br / In fact I just made the comment to my assistant that I'm glad we don't have to deal with all the drama.
br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me BS-32 br / WH-33 br / Married 8years together 12 years br / D-Day #1-1/28/06 br / D-Day #2-10/4/06 br / In R br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 1185 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Virginia br / knucklehead br / Member br / Member # 2041 Posted: 6:29 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / My H is a teacher. br / My mom retired as an elementary school teacher. Two teachers in her school were playing bouncy-bouncy.
They both got booted. br / br / The WW was married to a county cop as well, who after the affair but before she was fired, re-arranged his schedule to drop her off AND pick her up every day in a squad car. One day he couldn't make it so he sent another cop.
The WW came on to the OTHER cop! Sheesh! Tart!
br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "Some of it's magic, and some of it's tragic, but I had a good life, all the way." Jimmy Buffet, premier American poet br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 3866 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: NYS br / HerHarlequin br / Member br / Member # 11871 Posted: 6:46 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / My FWW is a teacher..
. br / But, the OM is certainly NOT -- he's the President of a Fortune 500 company..
. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Both for "R" and life in general -- Never confuse efforts with results..
. br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 397 | Registered: Aug 2006 br / mom2one br / Member br / Member # 12607 Posted: 6:47 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I am also a teacher. I would assume that behavior would not be tolerated, but I think it also would depend on district policies and administration.
br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me BS 30 br / Him WH 30 br / Daughter 7 mnths br / Married 4 Yrs. br / D-Day #1 8/31 br / D-Day #2 11/4 (found out the rest of the story) br / EA (lasted 4 mnths) br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 176 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: New York br / LynW br / Member br / Member # 73 Posted: 6:51 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I am a teacher, although I have not taught in some years. And I agree that it probably could cost him his job or at least some kind of discipline, depending on the policies of the district.
br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 1424 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: New Jersey br / drowninginsorrow br / Member br / Member # 4545 Posted: 6:53 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / i taught montessori in a previous life (pre baby boom in the drowning household ) br / having taught preschool i will say this...
all those really young chippy teachers fresh outta their early childhood education degree...
ya...
they like the daddies...
it's nauseating...
.worked with too many of those br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
br / Matt Groening br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 24332 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: canada br / Sennah br / Member br / Member # 8630 Posted: 6:56 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / WXH is a 5th grade teacher who had an affair with another 5th grade teacher at the same school. Sometimes I wish I had had them fired. I threatened to send the love letters I found to the school board.
br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me: BS 37 br / Him: Loser 39 br / Twin Sons 10 br / Married 12 years br / Together for 19 years br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 89 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: Michigan br / Ifthisisit br / Member br / Member # 5288 Posted: 7:16 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / My brother's friend was involved in a situation like this. He had an affair with a guidance counselor in a local school. He was fired as was she.
br / In our area, this violates a morals clause. Firing occurs if the affair was conducted on school property. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Nothing is as sacred as the integrity of your own mind.
Emerson br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 5494 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: East Coast br / dawn0703 br / Member br / Member # 12451 Posted: 9:55 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I am a hs math teacher. I think it would depend on the proof, and whether he/she had tenure or not. Also, how the tenure laws work in your state.
In NYS tenure laws are pretty strong. However, there is an ethical code that must be abided by. I would look into the contract.
br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / BS me: 30 br / FWH: 31 br / Married 6 years, together 11 years. br / 2 kids: 4, 5 mos., and one on the way br / Dday: 10/23/06 br / FWH PA: 9/06-10/06 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 612 | Registered: Oct 2006 br / goodboyinDC br / Member br / Member # 10377 Posted: 9:59 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / i want to change my career path.
br / i so want to teach high school mathematics. br / br / where to begin? br / br / i praise all of you for choosing a career path that i deem so rewarding and satisfying.
br / br / i hate the way the world works because as teachers, you all should be held with a much higher regard than sports figures, than hollywood stars, and even those clergy at churches. br / br / teachers are amazing. br / br / and those who get to improve the life of one child every year, have a blessed gift.
br / br / thanks to you all who really care about your students and what kind of impact you have in all those around you. br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Goodboy: 36 / OnceaBadBoyAlwaysABadboy?: 35 br / Together Since: 06/01 br / D-Day #1: 1/8/06 A: 12/05-3/06 br / D-Day #2: Sent OM sexunderwear for xmas!
!!!
br / R: What? You gotta be kidding, right? br / NC was broken with gay lingerie!
br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 2152 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Washington, DC br / hsmom br / Member br / Member # 11649 Posted: 10:03 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / me...
i started teaching preschool when i was 17(ged early college) then kindergarten for a bit at a private school...
..am now teaching p/t at a montessori.
br / i am thinking this could have some troubles brewing for him...
. br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 715 | Registered: Aug 2006 br / truthsetmefree br / Member br / Member # 7168 Posted: 10:43 AM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I'm a (former) middle school teacher. I SO love that age!
I quit because I got so burned out by all the legal requirements that de-humanized our students to a number on a standardized test. Sad that I had to teach the curriculum over teaching the child. br / t/j Good teachers are becoming a precious commodity.
They are dropping out at an alarming rate b/c they can't take the pressure...
br / br / In my area, such indiscretions would easily get you fired. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / BS - me WS - H br / Married 6 years; 2 children br / The problem is not in what happens to you - but in the value you attach to it. br / br / The same wave we fear will drown us is the wave that can move us.
br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 1450 | Registered: May 2005 | From: TN br / bluelady br / New Member br / Member # 11061 Posted: 12:23 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I teach high school French. I guess it would depend on the administration. I can't see how it would be good for his career, especially if it were to become public knowledge.
I'm not sure parents would be overly happy about it. br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 19 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Manitoba br / sodisgusted br / New Member br / Member # 13083 Posted: 12:51 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / sad teacher - br / I am in a very similar situation, except my teacher WH had an affair w/ a parent. br / HR and superintendent know about it, and they said it is not an issue since they are both consenting adults.
They said it would be an issue if either the other party was a minor (duh) or if the person he had the affair with WORKED WITH HIM. br / br / So in your case, i think they could most definitely get fired for it. Also - you said his "office".
so especially if he is an authority in the school and she is his subordinate that would make an add'l case for firing. Also - to use school property when it is not in session to commit sex acts has got to be add'l grounds for a firing. br / br / The problem (as you stated) is proof.
If the pictures do not indicate their location and it is his word against the person sending the email, then nothing can be done to him. br / br / If OW has the pictures tho, it could be her or her Husband (if married) trying to get payback. br / br / In my case, OW Husband sent an email to the entire school outing the affair.
it has been truly horrible and i hope that you do not have to endure that. It is bad enough to deal w/ the affair, but to be married to a WS that is known in the community and have everyone know SUCKS. br / br / Also - if he is getting harassing emails you should be able to have them traced to a location and you may want to get the police involved (which we have also had to do).
br / br / I have a lot of experience with this over the past month, so feel free to PM me. There is more info that i could share if you need it. br / br / thinking of you br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me - BS br / Him - WS br / Married 10 years br / 2 Kids br / DDay 12/19/2006 br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 12 | Registered: Dec 2006 br / massattack br / Member br / Member # 7914 Posted: 1:02 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I'm a kind of teacher.
I'm an early interventionist which means I work with children 0-5 with disabilities and their families. I LOVE my job; it's really more of a "calling" than a career. br / I'm very fortunate to work in an environment in which everyone is really focused on the work.
No real dramas that I've heard of -- no affairs. But maybe I'm oblivious to it all. br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 96 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: Northern California br / dreamlife br / Member br / Member # 8142 Posted: 2:06 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / My WH taught last year.
br / His XW was an English high school teacher for 10 years. br / br / Right after we got M psycho expressed 'sadness' that he would not be able to teach at his former Cath U. because we M sans an annulment.
br / br / Damn, he's too funny! br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "Repeat after me..
.he's a Mind Fuck!.
..repeat this 5,000 times.
..or till it sinks in".
-- DogMom br / 'You don't bring me anything but down. Everything just crashes to the ground..
.' Sheryl Crow br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 6673 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: West coast br / br / br / teacheribe br / Member br / Member # 10376 Posted: 2:31 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I've been teaching since 1975, and yes, you can get fired for having sex at school. What if a student were to come knocking at the office or classroom door?
br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / BS me 52 br / FWH 56 br / Married for 31 years br / Live for today. br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 802 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Virginia br / mamamia br / Member br / Member # 3697 Posted: 4:36 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I teach jr. hi English, H teaches jr.
hi science-we are both at the same school right now. FOW was a student teacher at H's previous school (she was 36 though). I think what happens depends on where you teach.
We are in a large urban district, so no reprucusion (sp?) as several teachers have been involved in A's, and a few have been caught "in the act". However, if you are in a small or rural district, I think they would be much less tolerant.
And unless it could be proven the pictures were taken on school property, there isn't much they could do. br / BTW Thanks GoodBoy- I don't think people understand what we do everyday. It is physically and emotionally draining -esp at an inner city jr.
hi. br / br / [This message edited by mamamia at 4:39 PM, January 4th (Thursday)] br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "Our lives are better left to chance br / I could have missed the pain, br / But I'd have had to miss the dance." br / Garth Brooks "The Dance" br / WS-20 years ago br / BS-D-Day 11-10-03; br / true story of A - 4-22-04 br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 505 | Registered: Mar 2004 br / stupidme br / Member br / Member # 7991 Posted: 4:40 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I'm not sure you would classify me as a teacher, but I give presentations to people on life skills, goal setting and leadership.
br / It is a rewarding thing to do and I know others get a lot from what I show them. br / br / So I guess, in away, I am a teacher. I just don't have the degree to say so.
br / br / SM br / br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall ~~Confucius~~ br / I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.~Og Mandino~ br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 3975 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: The Great Southern Land br / dreamlife br / Member br / Member # 8142 Posted: 5:04 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Of course, you ARE a teacher, SM! br / And, a heck of a great WRITER, too!
! br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "Repeat after me..
.he's a Mind Fuck!.
..repeat this 5,000 times.
..or till it sinks in".
-- DogMom br / 'You don't bring me anything but down. Everything just crashes to the ground..
.' Sheryl Crow br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 6673 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: West coast br / socalnative br / New Member br / Member # 11681 Posted: 5:56 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / MS teacher - wow didn't realize there were so many of us out there! Also surprised to hear all the stories - explicit photos at school?
Gotta be some disciplinary action. Hang in there! br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / me-BS-44 br / him-WS-42 br / M 17 yrs (just had worst anniversary last month br / 2 wonderful boys 11 8 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 12 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: Southern California br / making it br / Member br / Member # 4013 Posted: 6:10 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I teach 3rd grade.
br / I've taught in 4 different schools in my state and in one school in another state. In every place I've taught the behavior you describe would have been covered under a morals clause. br / br / [This message edited by making it at 6:11 PM, January 4th (Thursday)] br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.
I made it!!!
br / Have you thanked your Fleas today? br / br / He was misbehavin', so I had to kill him!!
!!!
LOL br / br / br / br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 10217 | Registered: Apr 2004 | From: A Brand New Life br / not4me br / Member br / Member # 3089 Posted: 6:53 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I'm a middle school teacher. br / As for your WS getting into trouble--he probably could for a couple of reasons. I agree with those who stated on grounds of "morality" issues.
Taking sexually explicit photos of ANYONE on school grounds by a teacher would constitute some sort of violation, depending on your district. br / br / Also, what did he use to take the photos? Were they posted?
Was it school property/owned by the district? If so, you can be fired for that. And where is he getting the e-mail threats?
If they are coming to school through the school's internet system and on their computer equipment, then he could also lose his job. Legally, the school owns that system and all equipment, and any inapproporiate use of such system by employees could entail loss of job, suspension, letter of reprimand, etc. br / br / I hate to say this, but unless OW is another teacher in the bldg.
and the affair is causing problems among the rest of the staff, or the community knows about/gossips about the affair, I doubt that the principal will do anything about it if you tell him. I've been in school systems almost 30 yrs. and they usually try not to get sucked in to things like this unless they absolutely have to and/or if it affects them.
br / br / br / [This message edited by not4me at 6:54 PM, January 4th (Thursday)] br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I've looked at life from both sides now." Judy Collins br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 259 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: PA br / chipsndip br / Member br / Member # 8605 Posted: 7:25 PM, January 4th (Thursday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I am a high school math teacher. When this happened at one of my previous schools, the teacher involved was asked to resign.
She moved out of state. I think her husband was responsible for that. Nothing happened to her AP, one of the school administrators.
I am not sure what would happen at my current school (private). br / I guess it will vary depending on the administrators, school board, and who the involved partners are. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / lives crumble in small simple moments br / me: bs-42 br / two kids: 15 and 11 br / met: may 1986 br / married: 15 years br / oct 2004 br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 73 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: kyinwa br / sadteacher br / Member br / Member # 13072 Posted: 12:25 AM, January 5th (Friday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Thank you all so much for posting.
I had no idea there were so many of us...
:) br / Thanks for all your input and thoughts. It helps me a lot. br / br / I still can't go in his office and don't know if I will ever be able to.
I feel so stupid to think that I went in there and ate lunch every day last year and he KNEW what he did in there. GRRRR! br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I want the fairy tale.
.." --from the movie "Pretty Woman" br / Both: 33yo, married 8 yrs, dday sept 06, physical affair #1 started nov 01, secret female validations started may 99, separated since 9/06 (Dday), 2 daughters 13yrs 5yrs br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 91 | Registered: Dec 2006 br / dreamlife br / Member br / Member # 8142 Posted: 12:42 AM, January 5th (Friday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I like to think that WH was in a MANIC state when he proposed that I drop by after class and do some really AFF-ish fantasy stuffs!
br / Of course, I did not go...
but, in retrospect, I wonder if he got a "replacement"OW on my behalf? br / br / He has been really big about "Living Out The Fantasy". br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "Repeat after me.
..he's a Mind Fuck!
...
repeat this 5,000 times...
or till it sinks in". -- DogMom br / 'You don't bring me anything but down. Everything just crashes to the ground.
..' Sheryl Crow br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 6673 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: West coast br / sadteacher br / Member br / Member # 13072 Posted: 1:17 AM, January 5th (Friday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Oh yeah, he has actually suggested we have sex in the next room so the memory with her will be "covered up" with ours.
br / WTF? br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I want the fairy tale..
." --from the movie "Pretty Woman" br / Both: 33yo, married 8 yrs, dday sept 06, physical affair #1 started nov 01, secret female validations started may 99, separated since 9/06 (Dday), 2 daughters 13yrs 5yrs br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 91 | Registered: Dec 2006 br / dealing w/ pain br / Member br / Member # 11283 Posted: 1:28 AM, January 5th (Friday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Well I just graduated with my bachelor's in Elementary Ed., so no job yet but br / YES I would say he would be fired if the pictures could definately show that she was naked on school property with him.
Last year a principal and librarian from the local school district were both fired because they got caught having sex in the school. It was during the summer too, and there were no students, but it was still considered a fire-able sitution. br / br / [This message edited by dealing w/ pain at 1:28 AM, January 5th (Friday)] br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me: BS, 22 br / WH: 22 br / 1 son, the innocent victim br / Filed for D 6/28/06 br / Now considering R, a tough and painful path ahead.
But it might be worth it. br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 204 | Registered: Jul 2006 br / hurtbs br / Member br / Member # 10866 Posted: 1:33 AM, January 5th (Friday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Eww! br / When I discovered that FWH had me sleeping in the same bed that he shared with psycho-whore, I lufad and exfoliated for days - ALL over.
My skin was lushly pink tho! I just didn't want that skank anywhere on me. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me BW br / Him FWH Jekyll br / DDay - April 2006 br / A - 10 weeks br / July 2006 - Decided to R br / "Character building experiences suck!
Why couldn't you have made me mow more lawns as a child?!" br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 2141 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: TX br / Bobbi_sue br / Member br / Member # 10347 Posted: 1:56 AM, January 5th (Friday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I used to teach high school.
My H taught vocational school in the same district, but he was not a teacher when I met him. I got him into all this and really, I think the pressure was a bit much for him. I regret many things I did to try to help him in life and that is one of them.
br / I have heard rumors of affairs among staff but never saw any hard proof and as far as I know nothing was done about it. br / br / He quit teaching. Was planning to anyway but had mixed feelings about quitting.
His daughter died right around what would have been the first day of school this school year so he never even had time to think about missing going back to his job. That last year he was there, he spent a lot of time talking to OW on his cell phone right while he was in the classroom, supposed to be teaching. I would think that would be grounds for firing, but I guess nobody "caught him" except for me when I looked at the phone records and times he was talking.
br / br / I quit teaching high school a few years back. I'm now a college professor. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / D-day March 26, 2006 br / D-day #2 December 3, 2006 br / Me: 47 br / WH: 50 br / FOW: 40's who had an affair with my H 25 years ago when he was married to someone else and then she went after him again during our M!
post-2756629270162388624
..I have read everything in the guidelines and library but is there a post somewhere that has a "cliffnotes" version?
br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I want the fairy tale...
" --from the movie "Pretty Woman" br / Both: 33yo, married 8 yrs, dday sept 06, physical affair #1 started nov 01, secret female validations started may 99, separated since 9/06 (Dday), 2 daughters 13yrs 5yrs br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 91 | Registered: Dec 2006 br / Ifthisisit br / Member br / Member # 5288 Posted: 12:00 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / We can put one together right here! br / Listen carefully for the following statements: br / br / I love you, but I'm not "in love" with you. br / br / Trans: I'm all hot over a new piece of ass.
br / br / I never meant to hurt you. br / br / Trans: How the hell did you find out? br / br / We never had sex.
br / br / Trans: Because you have no real proof, right? br / br / Okay, SIers, help with the manual. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Nothing is as sacred as the integrity of your own mind.
Emerson br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 5494 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: East Coast br / unicornsearcher br / Member br / Member # 912 Posted: 12:08 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / They meant nothing to me. br / Translation: I'm hoping this will mean nothing to you. br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / DD: 11/02 Busted WH 5+ yrs Affair (married in middle), My suicide attempt a month later.
6/05 Finally Admitted EA was PA. br / "if you ever decide to stab me in the back again, do it to my face" Firefly, Mal to Jayne (Ariel) br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 10231 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Tell Me So We'll Both Know..
. br / blindsided68 br / Member br / Member # 12755 Posted: 12:08 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / If I wasn't happy I would have left you along time ago. br / Trans.
I'm gonna cheat on you as much as I can until you catch me and then I'll say "I don't know why I did it" br / br / After I called the OW a slut, a whore, and a homewrecker, my WH said "She's not like that" br / Trans. She's a great piece of ass and is available to me morning, noon, and night for an easy and quick fuck br / br / br / I didn't have sex with her, we are just friends who go out for drinks br / Trans: The sex is great and we really like each other! br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 64 | Registered: Nov 2006 br / one sad lady br / Member br / Member # 12891 Posted: 12:11 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / We're just friends.
(I am screwing somebody all the time.) br / It didn't mean anything. (I am a selfish lying bastard.
) br / br / It's over, I ended it. (Oh oh, now I am really fucked.) br / br / Please stop asking me about it.
(So I can keep it going as long as I want.) br / br / You have to start trusting me sometime. (I really need to see OP - NOW!
) br / br / I felt unloved. (I have the biggest, neediest fucking ego of anyone in the world.) br / br / This has been the darkest period of my life.
(And MY feelings are SOOOO much more important than yours.) br / br / ok, that's just for starters. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 260 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: somewhere br / sadteacher br / Member br / Member # 13072 Posted: 12:44 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / The OW is really not like that.
..she constantly talked about how this wasn't right with God (translation.
..I like to screw people who use God as an excuse to get attention and to get my WS to pursue her when she is not getting the attention she wants) br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I want the fairy tale.
.." --from the movie "Pretty Woman" br / Both: 33yo, married 8 yrs, dday sept 06, physical affair #1 started nov 01, secret female validations started may 99, separated since 9/06 (Dday), 2 daughters 13yrs 5yrs br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 91 | Registered: Dec 2006 br / one sad lady br / Member br / Member # 12891 Posted: 1:08 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / She's really nice.
(Oh god, please don't tell anyone I was in love with a prostitute!) br / She liked me for a long time. (I am SO the shit!
) br / br / Face it, none of this would have happened if not for the OTHER problems around here. (There is NO WAY I am going be accountable for my actions. Never have been, never will be.
) br / br / You haven't come near me in a year. (I haven't come near YOU in a year.) br / br / I KNEW you'd get a spy on me.
(Your snooping is SOOO much worse than my cheating and lying.) (alternatively: I hate that you outsmarted me.) br / br / Let's try to work this out together.
(But you do all the work, k sweetie?) br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 260 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: somewhere br / Drowning br / Member br / Member # 13057 Posted: 2:23 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "We can work this out" br / (It's no big deal to me and I'm basically over it, so why don't you just get over it now too) br / "I don't want to lose you" br / (I didn't know what you were really worth until you threatened to leave me- now I'm scared) br / br / "I had a weak moment" br / (I give in very easily to sexual advances) br / br / "I can change" br / (I don't really know what I mean by that, but it sounds good) br / br / "I promise it won't happen again" br / (I broke a promise once already- but I think I mean it this time) br / br / "She/He meant nothing to me, I don't even know his/her name!" br / (If it wasn't important to me, it shouldn't be so important to you) br / br / "People make mistakes" br / (This mistake can easily be compared to other mistakes such as forgetting a birthday or mixing colors with whites in the laundry) br / br / "Let's start over" br / (I'm out of excuses, so just forget about what I did and let's move on) br / br / "I can earn your trust back!
" br / (If by tomorrow you haven't given full trust back to me, I will be very upset at your snooping around and second guessing me all the time) br / br / "His/Her name and any information about them isn't important" br / (I still care for them and don't want you to do anything to tick them off) br / br / "Are YOU cheating on ME?" br / (I quite possibly have in the past or currently am cheating on you) br / br / "We're just friends/co-workers" br / (who also happen to have amazing sex along with a deep emotional connection" br / br / "I need YOU" br / (the possibilities of her/him staying with me are slim and I need somebody) br / br / "I'm not sure how I feel about them. I don't know if I want to be with them or you" br / (I eat lots of cake.
I'm a cake-eater. I want the excitement of them and the stability of you- so I am keeping you in a constant state of limbo so that I always have you to fall back on if this new thing doesn't end up working out. Think of yourself now as my backup plan, but don't complain about it.
) br / br / "It's only happened (insert number higher than 5) times this year" br / (I'm either addicted to sex or have very low self esteem and quite possibly very little respect for you or myself) br / br / "We used protection every time" br / (We should probably both get checked for STD's, Honey) br / br / "Our relationship has been really rocky lately" br / (Working on this with you would require too much work on my part, so I went shopping for someone new instead) br / br / "You never wanted to have sex anymore! You drove me to the other man/woman!" br / (I'm only concerned with myself and my needs, not yours in that department or have forgotten how to masturbate) br / br / "Things are different since we started having children" br / (You couldn't get back to a size 3 one week after having our fourth child) br / br / "You're so angry and sad all the time now" br / (I'm not supportive of the feelings you're having as a result of my betraying you) br / br / "I needed some space- you were smothering me" br / (I'm immature and cannot handle the responsibilities of being an adult- My personal wants and needs are the only thing important to me at this time) br / br / br / br / br / br / br / br / br / [This message edited by Drowning at 2:28 AM, January 1st (Monday)] br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Whoever said "Life never gives us more than we can handle" obviously over-estimated my handling ability.
br / BW 25 (me) br / WH 29 br / Married 9/1998 br / D-Day 10/16/06 via E-mail from WH :( br / Currently living 6,974 miles apart. R or D? WH wants R br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 205 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: State of Confusion br / hurtbs br / Member br / Member # 10866 Posted: 3:52 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Wow, everyone took mine.
HEre's another few: br / "I need time alone right now" - I need time alone with OM/OW. Don't bug us, it's rude. br / br / "I feel so drawn to him/her" .
. . at the pelvis.
br / br / "You need to recognize how torn I feel." - It's hard to juggle 2 people, stop pressuring me to uphold my wedding vows. br / br / "You just have to trust me!
" - "Cuz I ain't never gonna tell you the truth." br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me BW br / Him FWH Jekyll br / DDay - April 2006 br / A - 10 weeks br / July 2006 - Decided to R br / "Character building experiences suck! Why couldn't you have made me mow more lawns as a child?
!" br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 2141 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: TX br / suddenlylost br / Member br / Member # 11401 Posted: 3:56 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "If you would have been a better wife I would have never done anything like that" br / (I am selfish and still would have done it, because I'm an ass) br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 812 | Registered: Jul 2006 br / ohsolost br / Member br / Member # 10330 Posted: 4:04 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / You keep bringing it up over and over br / Trans.-I can't talk about it because I know I f**ked up.
br / br / You are so paranoid. br / br / Trans.-Don't pay so close attention to me, you might catch me again.
br / br / I won't call her again. br / br / Trans.-I will erase each call from my cell so you won't know about it.
br / br / I'll be back later. br / br / Trans.-good night, you gullible fool.
br / br / Hope this helps. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / BS-me 36 br / WH-him 41 br / Married 17 yrs, together 19 yrs br / 3 beautiful kids 11, 7, 4 br / DDay 4/5/06 br / Separated 5/22/06, came "back" 6/18, 7/29-called attny. br / 10/7 HE CHOSE HER OVER ME br / 10/25 Still talking, for now.
br / 12/29 Said goodbye br / 1/5 Trying AGAIN br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 523 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: the central CA valley br / one sad lady br / Member br / Member # 12891 Posted: 4:07 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Now why is there really NOT a manual? Hard copy should be legally required reading before ever getting married! br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 260 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: somewhere br / Stessierere br / Member br / Member # 10765 Posted: 5:50 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Everyone took mine!
! Except I also got these: br / "You were always so unsupportive of me." br / br / trans - You refused to turn your mind to "off" when something didn't add up, or was a bad idea.
br / br / "They weren't prostitutes. They were ESCORTS." br / br / trans - "I'm so f'd in the head that I don't make any sense anymore.
This should tell you everything you need to know." br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / ME: BS 35 Him: WS 36 SA M/T: 13/18 br / DDay:5/12/06 Divorce Final: 12/21/06 br / ~Sometimes I'm sad; occasionally I'm angry. Mostly, I just don't care anymore.
br / He needs help. I hope he gets it. br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 589 | Registered: May 2006 br / one sad lady br / Member br / Member # 12891 Posted: 7:19 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / When I asked is she a prostitute: "It's not that simple.
She has guys that give her money but she never asked me for anything." br / Trans. - Yeah.
She's a whore. br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 260 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: somewhere br / nandav br / Member br / Member # 2997 Posted: 7:39 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Don't forget..
br / "I never meant to hurt you" (because I thought I was so careful that you would never find out) br / br / "She doesn't mean anything to me, it was very impersonal" (She thinks I'm going to leave you and be with her forever) br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me: BS H: WS Married/together: 32 years br / D-day: 11/15/03 Reconciled br / More than one PA; most short-lived br / FOW:co-worker/partner-almost 3 yr PA br / "But something's lost and something's gained in living ev'ry day" Joni Mitchell br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 7698 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Florida br / betterdaysahead br / Member br / Member # 12309 Posted: 8:17 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / I'm not leaving the children...
I'm just leaving you. br / Translation..
.as soon as I get the hell out of here you will be hard pressed to get me to see or even phone the kids..
.and as for child support ..
.I'll see you in court baby! br / br / br / You didn't pamper me enough.
br / br / Translation...
she gives a great BJ and I just have to lie there. br / br / [This message edited by betterdaysahead at 8:17 AM, January 1st (Monday)] br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me BS br / Him WS - living with OW br / married 25 years br / 2 children br / divorce pending br / The good thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 1736 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Ontario br / BrokenHeartinNJ br / New Member br / Member # 13078 Posted: 10:45 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I was lost" - I wanted to see how long I could get away with it without getting caught.
br / "It wasn't me" - I need some excuse for what I did. br / br / "It didn't have anything to do with you or your personal appearance" - I was bored and tired of the same old piece of ass and needed something different and exciting. br / br / "I am refocused, recommitted, reconnected, I've found levels of love I never knew existed before" - I knew this would KILL you so I figured it was better to lie.
I took you for granted and now that I've been snitched on, I have to save my ass from being homeless, family-less, lifeless. br / br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Tell me this is not happening to me. Wake me up when this nightmare is over.
br / BW 35 (me) br / WH 43 (him) br / Together for 10+ years br / Married for 7+ years br / 1 Daughter (me) br / 1 Daughter, 1 Son (him) br / No children together br / D-Day 11/21/2006 br / Reconciliation in br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 10 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: New Jersey br / blindsided68 br / Member br / Member # 12755 Posted: 11:08 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / You are such a great wife and mother and I never knew how good I had it br / br / Trans: YOu are such an idiot that I knew you were gonna take me back time and time again br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 64 | Registered: Nov 2006 br / not4me br / Member br / Member # 3089 Posted: 11:32 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Here's a few that I heard/hear, what he really meant is in parenthesis: br / "It had nothing to do with you." (I got sick of looking at your 50 yr.old ass, so I have to get off on nubile 18 yr.
olds so I can build my ego.) br / br / "I never thought you'd find out." (I had you tricked for so many years, I thought I could get away with anything.
) br / br / "You are the only woman I ever really loved, they(porn stars) don't mean anything to me." (Oh, but I'd still really like to fuck all of them instead of you.) br / br / "I always came home to you, didn't I?
" (Yeah, you were good to wash my drawers, work full-time, cook, clean, do yard work and raise our boys, so why the hell wouldn't I come home?) br / br / "We would get along so much better if you didn't have so many issues over this and if you would stop bringing it up all of the time." (I just made some mistakes and you are making a big deal out of all of this.
It's all your fault.) br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I've looked at life from both sides now." Judy Collins br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 259 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: PA br / catstail br / Member br / Member # 7508 Posted: 11:49 AM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "She never wanted to hurt you" = She wanted you out of the picture because she liked that I had money and paid her rent, bought her a car, and all she had to do was act like I was the sexiest thing since sliced bread even though I'm fat and forty.
br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 91 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: I'm not sure right now br / br / br / hurting mom br / New Member br / Member # 12869 Posted: 2:03 PM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "You weren't meeting my needs." (SHE never said no to me.) br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Posts: 20 | Registered: Dec 2006 br / cjonesjag br / Member br / Member # 10617 Posted: 2:12 PM, January 1st (Monday), 2007 br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / "I wanted to tell you/was going to tell you about it many times" br / Trans: Not really, I knew it was wrong and if I told you the truth, you'd make me stop.
...
I was having so much more fun with her. br / br / [This message edited by cjonesjag at 2:12 PM, January 1st (Monday)] br / br / br / br / -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- br / Me (BS):45 br / Him(WS):46 (LA832) br / DDay #1: 09/2005 (EA) - HIM br / DDay #2: 08/2006 Selish liar br / Married: 05/2002 (didn't even get to the seven-year itch!) br / Me: My glass is almost full!
br / HIM: My glass is broken, and its NOT my fault.
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