First, a disclaimer: I own stock in Coca-Cola Co.
One share. (It's a long story.
) On Friday, it was worth about 53 bucks.
Writing about a company I "own" is risky because, theoretically, I could nudge the value of that stock up if I said good things about the corporation. Then I could have stock worth $54.
For that to happen, I would need millions of readers looking to me for stock market advice.
Still, you've been warned.
The news from Coke is exciting: "Diet Coke Plus" is finally in stores.
Diet soda spiked with vitamins!
It seems like a carbonated oxymoron, a drink made mostly of water, chemicals and artificial sweeteners that's shot full of vitamins.
It's a gift from the soft drink gods.
Soon the market will be saturated with these health-nut sodas. Pepsi is coming out with its fortified version soon. I pray Diet Dr Pepper - my drink of choice - is next.
Think about it for a minute: Caffeine, no calories and vitamins.
Life is good.
Guilt, as diet drinkers know, is the major drawback to no-cal beverages.
Every time we addicts pop open a can of diet soda, we can't help but wonder: "What's in this, anyhow?"
We try to reassure ourselves. After all, if aspartame, phosphoric acid or caramel coloring caused cancer, they'd be outlawed.
So they must be perfectly safe. Right?
Nevertheless, the ingredient list on any diet soda is unsettling.
I try not to look.
Whoa. A peek at the label on my 2-liter bottle of Diet Dr Pepper is cause for concern.
Seems the only nutrient in the entire container is sodium. Alarmingly, it's just 1 percent of my daily need. To get enough sodium today, I'll have to gulp 100 glasses.
I see dialysis in my future.
Not to worry. With the addition of vitamins and minerals, diet soda will flow from the realm of empty soft drink to health tonic.
Knocking back a vitamin-infused diet soda will be every bit as good as drinking fruit juice.
Over at Coke headquarters, the suits are no doubt betting that millions of soda drinkers will make the switch to Plus. They'll live longer - because of the possible curative powers of the elixir - thus enabling consumers to buy millions more cans over their lifetime.
If you've been draining cans of Plus and tossing them into the recycling bin in an attempt to acquire a taste for the slightly flat - and flowery - beverage, it's label-reading time.
Diet Coke Plus boasts niacin, magnesium and zinc. Plus vitamins B6 and B12.
And that's it. No vitamin C. Or E.
Or A. No iron. No protein.
Coke, you may be my company, but I'm disappointed.
Seems we'll still have to eat food to get m ore nutrients.
Dr Pepper, I'm counting on you.
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