* 1/2 out of ***** When a movie is this bad, it's easy to go for the simple pun - a failure of biblical proportions (thanks, Richard Roeper), divine retribution (ditto, Slate.com), a holy mess (that one's my own). Attempting to squeeze a bit of wit out of this modern-day Noah tale would simultaneously be doing more work than the filmmakers did and perhaps even covering up my own disappointment.
I wanted Evan Almighty to be good. I wanted it to be worth every penny of the $175 million spent on making it. Most of all, I wanted it to be the latest in a series of amazingly good decisions made by its star, Steve Carell.
Sadly, Evan Almighty is exactly none of those things. As fans of this film's predecessor, Bruce Almighty, will remember, Evan Baxter was notable for being Jim Carrey's news anchor nemesis. Finicky and annoying, Evan ultimately got his comeuppance once Bruce learned how to exploit the whole "God-like powers" thing.
A film about that Evan being given a holy mission I might have been interested in. However, Carell's former character is here in name and appearance only, the rest of his traits having been hollowed out somewhere in the interim. This Evan is an incoming congressman (… yeah, I've got a unicorn to sell you, too) with a loving and supportive family made up of a weary-looking Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls) and three adorable sons.
Things start out well for him until God (Morgan Freeman) steps in - ain't that always the case? - and demands that Evan build him an ark. At this point, Evan Almighty turns itself into a slightly more Christian-ized version of The Santa Clause, complete with Evan's family and coworkers looking stunned as animals begin to follow him around and his hair and beard suddenly grow out of control.
He starts to build the ark. Nicknames even get tossed around - "New York's Noah," "the weirdo with a beardo." Carell, aside from being the current go-to funny guy, possesses a truly likable onscreen quality.
It's what kept his 40-year-old virgin from being neither creepy nor sad, and it manages to keep the opening moments of Evan Almighty entertaining. Some nice work is also done by the increasingly indispensable Jonah Hill (lately of Knocked Up) as well as John Goodman, slipping into his sleazy politician act easily. The supporting women don't fare as well, with comedian Wanda Sykes shrieking her way through the film, while Graham acts about as lifeless as they come.
Despite the amusing 30 minutes that open Evan Almighty, the ultimate conclusion is not only frustratingly anticlimactic but an honest-to-god cheat. Evan becomes simplistic and simpering, taking the least offensive (or, most spineless) way out of its story. The irony that a movie so seemingly concerned with the Earth's well-being was produced for such an exorbitant amount of money - resulting in some incredible tacky-looking computer-generated imagery, no less - is strikingly apparent.
Evan Almighty may have laid the groundwork for the next theme park ride at Universal Studios, but "change the world" as Congressman Baxter's campaign slogan claimed? Hardly.