May 30th, 2007 at 23:59 by 586 MEDIA
Hecklerspray s inbox is constantly rammed full of the usual email requests from PRs, viral agencies, MySpace bands, game companies, movies publicists and irate Charlotte Church fans.
We have also received a slightly cryptic video from the folks managing the London 2012 Olympics and Paralympics on the theme of PASSION, which has prompted us to list our particular passions. Well, at least the ones we can tell you about hellip;
So, in no particular order, Hecklerspray s writers have suggested the following things we are passionate about
Green and Blacks dark chocolate - Food of the Gods, innit
Xbox Live ndash; Sony must be having kittens.
We love Xbox Live. Microsoft is so uncool that we re considering the possibility that it is, in fact, cool.
Brigitte Bardot, circa 1962 ndash; no explanation needed.
The couch ndash; We love our battered couch, but Hecklerspray s office needs a better one. The couch is of course single most important piece of furniture. After the bed.
The bed ndash; see above.
Thai food ndash; sorts you out. Especially after the day after the day after the night before.
Two-day hangovers are the worst.
The Ferrari Dino ndash; at four we knew this was the prettiest car ever. We didn t know the value of money back then, only that the car was a joy.
And it remains one of the best. Ferrari: take note.
The Internet ndash; without it we would be doing shitty jobs for people we hated.
Google ndash; never before have answers been so easy to find. The only downside is the the death of the blessed Pub Quiz.
Hunter S Thompson s obituary for Nixon ndash; He was scum.
Let there be no mistake in the history books about that. Richard Nixon was an evil man - evil in a way that only those who believe in the physical reality of the Devil can understand it. He was utterly without ethics or morals or any bedrock sense of decency.
Nobody trusted him except maybe the Stalinist Chinese, and honest historians will remember him mainly as a rat who kept scrambling to get back on the ship.
Cartman ndash; the whole South Park shebang is wonderful, but special merit goes to Cartman, for being so hateful, and so amusing.
Larry David ndash; if ever there was one person we wanted to hand over a tiny slice of Hecklerspray to, for the purposes of saying shareholders include XYZ , then it is Larry David.
Not that he needs the money hellip;
Catch-22, by Joseph Heller ndash; heartfelt thanks to former English teacher, Mr Robinson, for providing this after we refused to read Bleak House on the grounds that I wanted to kill myself after the first four pages .
Laughing Leonard Cohen ndash; music that makes you wanna party.
J.
Mascis ndash; a hellishly good guitar player. Last.fm s profile of Dinsoaur says it best, accurately describing the band as soul-crushing noise rock .
Stationery ndash; it is like a pervy foot fetish, we imagine. The smell of new ink. Devices made by Rotring.
Pens with tiny nibs. STABILO BOSS. Oh, oh hellip;
The Fall ndash; as we keep telling y all: The Fall Is High Art.
Discuss.
Withnail I ndash; in the Top Ten Best Films Ever, specifically for the line: These are the sort of windows faces look in at.
David Attenborough ndash; we salute you, master of life on earth!
Wine ndash; red is best. Crates of red are better.
Richard Dawkins ndash; and other challengers of Creationism.
Peter Beardlsey s goal against Norwich ndash; the one from the right wing touchline, a feigned cross. A gem of a player.
Facebook ndash; a sort of slightly grown up social network where you can POKE PEOPLE.
Not exactly a passion, now we mention it.
Rain of the straight variety ndash; most people love the sun, and so do we. But hey, we also love the rain, so long as it falls in a straight top-to-bottom way.
Wind is an abuser of elements. To hell with wind.
E L Wisty ndash; and Peter Cook in general.
Coffee ndash; you can ban the cigs but take away our coffee and there will be hell to pay.
Analogue synthesizers ndash; Korgs and Moogs, preferably.
The Rockwell font ndash; you can expect some changes around here, for we have fallen head over heels for Rockwell.
Hot Dogs ndash; FUCKIN A!
Family ndash; ah, we re softies at heart, but it s true, bless em.
Creekit ndash; still being spelt incorrectly by the Oxford English Dictionary, creekit is a way of turning our backs on the inanity of celebrity culture, for an afternoon or some cases the best part of a week.
But with Paris Hilton being arrested most days it is becoming ever harder to switch off hellip;
Peter Alliss ndash; Gosh, what an enormous one for such a little chap hellip;
Bill Hicks ndash; if we re wrong and there is a Hell then we know we re going to be in great company.
Cr me Eggs ndash; we know they re full of sugar, and that s presumably why they taste so good.
Peroni ndash; made for Friday afternoons.
And Tuesdays. And Wednesdays. And occasionally on the weekend, come to think of it hellip;
Pool ndash; we don t play as often as we used to, so we d rather like one of those big American-sized tables for our office.
We d do a celebrity Pool Off hellip;
The films of Stanley Kubrick ndash; apart from that one with Tom Cruise in it.
Otters ndash; they re cute, innit!
Travel ndash; it s good to get away.
We are thinking about doing a Hecklerspray World Tour, just for the hell of it. We ll let you know when you should flee your place of residence.
5 Star Hotels ndash; see above.
Once, we were peasants, sharing bunk beds with tramps hellip; but now we like to live it up whenever we can. That said, 28 for a gin and tonic just ain t right hellip;
Adidas Samba ndash; a finer casual shoe has yet to be created.
The English Countryside ndash; breathe it in, people.
Swearing ndash; because word combinations are better with a bit of fucking emphasis, right? Yes, but you don t have to be so rude! No, we don t.
You re right, you fucker!
Puns ndash; Careless Wrister , etc etc.
Money ndash; yeah you heard us buddy, we like the green stuff.
A pretty obvious choice, but it helps you get by a little easier, and that s all there is to it. Send any unwanted dosh to us hellip;
Cake ndash; a slice of Victoria Sponge should be taken at 3.30pm each day, for the Best Results.
The iPod ndash; those bloogy Apple ads are well annoying, and iPods don t always work so well on Windows, but they re pretty neat devices. Thumbs up.
Driving, fast ndash; there s just something about belting along at ferocious speeds that makes you feel good.
Lists ndash; Nick Hornby sold out the men of the world when he revealed to the fairer sex that men love compiling lists. And it s true, as this list proves.
So, what are you passionate about, buddy?
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