Talking to myself...
What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion
I'll never fall in love again!
I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on the weekend.
In general, I'm not a huge Jim Carrey fan. I like movies where he is a bit less crazy, like The Truman Show - that was a great film. And the first Ace Ventura movie was funny, but his style of comedy can get a bit much after awhile.
But I am a big fan of Kate Winslet, and I thought that the concept behind Eternal Sunshine sounded interesting, so I watched it and I loved it. There was something very beautiful about the way relationships were presented in the movie (even for a cynic like me).
Without giving too much away (it is a fantastic movie, so all of you should go see it), it's about a guy called Joel (Jim Carrey), who leads an average, not particularly interesting life.
He finds out that his girlfriend, Clementine (Kate Winslet), has had all her memories of him erased. So, Joel decides to have the procedure done himself, to erase all memories of Clementine from his mind.
What do you get when you fall in love?
A boy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again!
During the procedure, as Joel is reliving experiences they have shared, he starts to regret having these memories erased and, since he can't get the procedure stopped, Joel and Clementine try to hide from the technicians in his other memories.
What really touched me about this movie was how all the problems that Joel and Clementine had in their relationship seemed so huge and insurmountable when they were fighting and arguing and angry at each other, but once they started to remember the good times, all the bad times paled in significance.
(Just as a quick aside, I saw Bride and Prejudice on Monday. It was very fun and quite amusing. For some reason, I really liked that there was no kissing in the movie.
Maybe because it's so common in Hollywood-style movies that it doesn't seem to have any meaning anymore. So, in B P, just hugging seemed so sweet. It still couldn't touch the romantic tension created in the BBC version of P P where Darcy and Lizzie touch hands for the first time.
..)
What do you get when you kiss a boy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
And if you do, he'll never phone you
I'll never fall in love again!
I know that I have a rather bad tendency to dwell on all the bad things that happen, without balancing my viewpoint with consideration of the good things (I guess everyone does that to some extent.) For over a year now, I have been trying to get over all the bitterness, anger and cynicism I've been indulging in since the end of my last relationship.
It was a really short relationship - only 3 months - and he was overseas for 2 of those, but it has still affected me in quite a serious way. I can totally understand the desire to erase memories of someone from the mind - sometimes I wish I could do that with memories of this relationship!
I have had an extremely negative view of my last relationship.
For a long time I couldn't see it as anything but a complete disaster. It was so difficult for me to even realise that if nothing else, it was at least a learning experience. But I'm finally beginning to get over it all.
I can recognise now that there were good times, and that I did learn a lot from the whole experience. I can acknowledge now that not all relationships would be like that, and that just because he rejected me for not being "fiery and passionate enough", not every guy will think that.
Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there, and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
And that is why I'm here to remind you...
I don't think I'm completely over my cynicism about relationships in general, though.
Well, actually, there's a bit of tension there in my mind. Sometimes I'm happy being single, and view a relationship as something that will just take away too much of my time and freedom. Other times, I feel so alone, and just wish I had someone special to spend time with, to talk to and to laugh with.
At those times, I have to remember that God is in control, and if I don't find someone, I can be complete and satisfied in God. There's a song by Bethany Dillon (she's only 15 years old, but she writes fantastic lyrics) that I should adopt as my theme song (to replace the bitter, cynical one scattered through this post.)
When the day is done
And there's no one else around
While I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart, You're in my head
You are all I need, You are all I need
There are a million voices
Calling out my name
But You're the One I want to hear
So make the others disappear
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You are all I need
When the morning comes
And Your mercy is renewed
There's a fire in my bones
I'm not afraid to go alone
You are all I need, You are all I need
The sun on my face
I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You are all I need, You are all I need
I'm drawn to everything that You do
Nothing compares with You
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You are all I need
I love that Bethany Dillon song, but man, it's so hard to put into practice in my thoughts, let alone in my life!
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get tears and pain and sorrow
So, for at least, until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again!
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