The fine art of posing
Will Smith  |  by www.stuff.co.nz. All rights reserved. 16.07 | 23:24

I have seen sturdier men than Schwarzenegger unbalanced on the red carpet by a well-posed hip.
Point a paparazzi camera at any seasoned glamourpuss and - ta da! - like a well-oiled machine, one knee immediately kinks, a well-shod foot shoots forward, a hip bangs out to the left or right, and woe betide any bloke in boom-shacka-bump-shot.

The oblivious have been known to stagger. Jennifer Lopez's husband, Marc Anthony, is particularly vulnerable. No surprise that he often steps away as cameras cluster and his wife morphs into red carpet "pose mode".

David Beckham would be vulnerable to boom-shacka hip injuries too, were his wife any heavier than a wasp. (Not a lot of damage likely from that spindly, sideways-thrusting hip though.) Posh is a poseur of near-gymnastic enthusiasm but even her magnetic talent for keeping paparazzi snapping longer than they ever intended, pales in the wake of Rose McGowan.

Notice, she poses alone at last week's Metropolitan Museum of Art tribute to 20th-century designer Paul Poiret in New York. Everybody else has warily shuffled back out of lens shot, well clear of those swinging hips, backside and heaving bosom. Those sharp little elbows.

McGowan, apparently a practised poseur, is demonstrating the "Marilyn" here. After Monroe. It is an advanced version of the "slimmer" pose involving one foot forward, knee bent, hand on hip jutting left or right, head forward, chin up.

The "Marilyn" demands more upper, forward thrust and rear extension than the "slimmer" but has the same "Ahaha, aren't I gorgeous?" effect. The "arabesque", on the other hand, is a complicated mixture of several poses: head left, chin up, shoulders hunched to accentuate clavicle bones and tilt cleavage forward, torso sucked in towards curved back, hands on one hip jutting right as knee kinks to the left with - for veterans only - ankle pointing back.

You don't want to be within cooee of that one, chaps.

Read more on by www.stuff.co.nz. All rights reserved.
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