• And the Spanish Inquisition It is only my seconds day of track and I’m already walking with a limp. Although I suppose I’ll start feeling better after tomorrow’s run to Canada. Or as the captains call it: a “light jog.
” November 29, 2006 at 6:22 pm | In Chuck Norris Jokes | No Comments When he was nine, Chuck Norris dressed as himself to go trick-or-treating. He came home with a bag full of candy, a bag full of miniature liquor bottles, an Irish Setter, and two underage prostitutes carrying more of his candy. November 29, 2006 at 6:22 pm | In School | No Comments In another feeble attempt to ruin the youth of America, my Chefs teacher assigned our class the biggest, hardest, and most pointless project known to man.
In a class dedicated to cooking and eating, we have to do a 5 page paper, poster, and presentation on a certain country. Our presentation must include things like the country’s location, population, education system, and culture. The only thing that slightly relates this project to Chefs is that we must cook a certain meal from that particular culture.
I don’t even get assignments this hard in Geography! The project was assigned yesterday, which means my class went to the Media Center to work on it today. I partnered up with James Mazzola and we chose China; and by we chose China I mean James did China while I checked my email.
While scanning the internet for funny sites and challenging games, I stumbled across not one, but TWO horrible news articles. Claims it tasted like chicken Like all drunk Russians, one man decided it would be a cool idea to try to swallow his keys. After getting pulled over for possible DUI charges, the man, known only as Muscovite,” attempted to swallow his keys.
When asked what his motive was, Muscovite replied: It made me feel like a secret agent The police officer, fearing for the drunken man’s life, attempted to retrieve the keys before he had time to choke. Muscovite, upset that the cop was trying to prevent him becoming a secret agent, bit the policeman. Only after putting on gloves could the officer retrieve the keys, and even stuck his head in Muscovite’s mouth.
Muscovite was charged with failing to follow police orders as well as the consumption of jagged metal. Couple demands noodles as well Good old Best Buy; a place where customers can buy anything from DVDs to plasma televisions. With the holidays coming up, Best Buy can be a beautiful place to purchase gifts for the nerds in your family.
That was the intension of Jim and Melisa Rittenberg. They went to the store to buy a camcorder. “We wanted to study how we had sex,” Jim claimed as he talked to reporters, “I had no idea we’d end up with tomato sauce.
” Yes, you heard him. Instead of a $1,600 camera, the package at Best Buy was filled with a jar of Classico pasta sauce. When the Rittenbergs went home and opened the box, they were surprised when the packaging was filled with pasta sauce, a telephone cord, and Deval Patrick.
“I’m guessing someone found out that these things weight the equivalent of a camcorder,” Jim explained to all the retards reading the article. When asked about the situation, the Best Buy manager intelligently stated I think there was some kind of mix up After filing a police report, the Rittenburgs are awaiting an answer to the mysterious Camera Thief. If you ask me, it was Muscovite, who discovered that eating keys is a lot easier when you do it with pasta sauce.
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