You're PREGNANT??!
You crazy *$@#! babbler! You told me you were on the pill!
!! Fuck, now I guess you want me to pay for yet another abortion.
You think I'm MADE of money??!
posted by : Sat Mar 17, 04:36:00 PM Well, congratulations. Now your son can breathe a sigh of relief as you'll have someone else to try and boil in teh stew pot..
. And I vote for the gladiator outfit. The Hamburgler's verticle stripes will wreak havoc on your already fragile body image.
At least with the gladiator outfit no one will dare tempt your hormonally raging wrath with a big sword in your hand.
posted by : Sat Mar 17, 05:35:00 PM I haven't been out of "The Great Southwest" for well over a year. So try proving THAT in a court of law.
posted by : Sat Mar 17, 07:23:00 PM Well, from the words of a man that Ellie's Mommie and I love very much. "I'll loan you my chaps." Just wear them and thong underwear.
Maybe a little tube top. It will make a statement they will never forget. Not sure what the statement is, but they will never forget it.
Congrats on being Prego..Ellie's Mommie's Mommie
posted by : Sat Mar 17, 10:35:00 PM Congrats Karla!
That's awsome!
I am so with you on the shoe thing, unfortunately, I can't offer you any hope, I've been on the quest to replace mine for a year and a half, and the only thing I found suitable didn't quite hit the mark. I have faith in you to do much better.
Stacie
ps...
I'd go with the Mr. Potatohead suit, if nothing else, it would give everyone else some entertainment when the try to velcro the nose in the proper place..
.
posted by : Sat Mar 17, 11:55:00 PM Why don't you just borrow Dyckerson's primary colored clown clothes? Use the hat and banana as well for a full effect.
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 09:02:00 AM Jesus, I'd figured that the state of Texas would have hermetically sealed that thing after the last disaster. Call me a romantic, but I'm giving odds as low as 2-1 that your husband is the father.
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 09:44:00 AM I cannot believe how inconsiderate people can be.
Why would anyone plan a wedding while you're pregnant? Clearly, these people did this to spite you. I am always good with fashion advice.
It's sort of my thing. It's unfortunate that you're not further along in your pregnancy for this event. I suggest going to your local maternity store and stealing the pregnant belly pillow that they have in the fitting room.
You can borrow the one that I stole a few years ago, but I will need it back because I like to wear it from time to time when I break up with a guy and haven't seen him in a few months (it's a great ice breaker). Anyway, just as they're saying their vows, pretend to go into labor so that the attention can be turned back to you. Also, that way, you can wear one of those adorable empire wasted maternity frocks.
By the way, I can read anything about shoes, no matter how mundane. I wish everyone would blog about their shoes, complete with pictures.
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 10:54:00 AM i think you should wear a toga.
then people will know it's a real party.
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 11:41:00 AM Dyckerson: In my quest to become a Better Person, I have a small confession to make. All those times you gave me money for "abortions," I was never really pregnant at all, but merely swindling you out of the money.
To be honest, I couldn't believe the scam would work, since you and I have never met in person and therefore never had sex...
yet time after time you dutifully forked over the money, which I then quickly spent on presents for other men, my house payments, and David Hasselhoff action figures. I ask your forgiveness for the tens of thousands of dollars I've scammed you out of, because I've turned over a new leaf now that I've found the Lord.
Puerileuwaite: Come on, for me: Get a shorter screen name.
I was going to reply to your comment, but after it took me ten minutes to type your screen name, I lost my train of thought.
tfg: Go back to your Battlestar Galactica message boards and leave my blog alone.
Mist1: Then you need to read Kendra's blog!
http://golden-state.blogspot.com/
It's good for the occasional shoe or shoe-related story.
Well, unless she's recently tripped and broken both ankles in 5 places, which has happened more than once.
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 12:45:00 PM Whoa you can't drink for the next 4-5 months? I'm sorry, a newborn baby is a beautiful thing (at least after it gets a nice bath), but it's SO not worth it, even when you take into account little bundles of genetic perfection like myself.
Now as for what to wear to the wedding, I suggest a Tshirt that says "It's His Baby, By Which I mean The Groom's". It'll be a wedding to remember if nothing else.
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 04:48:00 PM Let's hope the new one can defend it self or at least escape the boiling pot.
http://isabellaoliver.com/io/Shop?Dsp=30000 PCR=1:200:2030
All the best,
p2
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 06:53:00 PM The Hamburgular is great, but Grimace would be better.
Or the "Burger King" guy...
.Which would be super creepy. You could just stand there and stare at people not saying a word as they decided whether they wanted to run, or crawl to the nearest corner and rock back and forth.
posted by : Sun Mar 18, 09:31:00 PM I fear that I've actually offended you with my last comment. With that in mind, let me say that I've reconsidered and I'll give odds as low as 3-2.
Seriously, I'm very happy for you.
posted by : Mon Mar 19, 07:54:00 AM Don't you have a maternity Policewoman uniform just laying around, collecting dust?
Seriously.
Congrats on the bebe.
Now you'll just have to get a stewpot built for two (bebes that is).
A-noni-mouse
posted by : Mon Mar 19, 12:48:00 PM YOU MUST BUY DANSKO'S they are the only shoe to wear. I was not a believer until recently, they are wonderful!
BABY's and more BABY's, make it arrive now! ok ok let it cook a little longer.
posted by
: Mon Mar 19, 01:07:00 PM I could go dressed as the Hamburglar. I will reply to every question asked of me with "robble robble," and when moving from place to place, I will dash furtively rather than walking.
Cool.
Just remember to post some pix. ;)
posted by : Mon Mar 19, 01:10:00 PM Well it's about damn time KB, good 2CU and Brian counting ceiling tiles; Texas style.
Congratulations!
posted by : Mon Mar 19, 06:44:00 PM A) People need licenses to own dogs
B) People need licenses to drive cars
C) You people let Karla breed again.
posted by : Mon Mar 19, 08:55:00 PM came over from nocturnal, who went all out and congratulated you nocturnal-style. :)
congratulations, karla!
posted by : Tue Mar 20, 08:46:00 AM No smart ass comment here - just a congrats!!!
I hope to win this baby too in the next contest!
posted by : Tue Mar 20, 11:00:00 AM I read on NT's site that you were knocked up. It's good to know you have shoes on your feet though and aren't some sort of cliche'.
I do sympathize with you about the shoes hurting your feet-that sucks. Anyways, back to my original thought-Congratulations! Babies are a blessing.
..and it doesn't hurt they smell pretty good 85% of the time.
posted by : Tue Mar 20, 11:31:00 AM David Hasslehoff! You HAVE to go as David Hasselhoff!
Or at least name the new bundle of tumor David Hasselhoff.
And by that I mean "congrats"!
posted by : Tue Mar 20, 12:53:00 PM I'd say go for the wrasslin' singlet, only make it a size smaller than what is necessary. This should give you a lovely, exaggerated pregnant cameltoe.
posted by : Tue Mar 20, 04:40:00 PM Congratulations on being pregnant, I can't believe it took you this long to mention it!
In Australia all the tops and dresses that are selling in the shops seem to be tapered to just under the breasts and then they flow out from there, making all the skinny and other non-pregnant women out there actually look pregnant. Isn't that style still in fashion in the US?
Cause you would look totally hot in something like that.
Hmm, I just decided to do a search to collaborate my claims..
maybe they're not that in fashion anymore, but I found this cool site.. you should check out these dresses: http://www.
allyfashion.com/web/products_cat.asp?
ProductCategory=8 ID=8
Haha, I'm like a spammer!
posted by : Wed Mar 21, 09:06:00 AM Please go as the Hamburgler.
posted by : Wed Mar 21, 12:10:00 PM Try mimi's maternity or kiki's fashion.
. . .
my wife got really nice dresses for a wedding and later, our anniversary from there. There is another place, but I can't think of the name right now. I'll untie and ungag her later to find out.
I agree with Jenni, you have to go as the King. . .
. maybe Brian could be the King and you could be the Queen. If you tqke Jake then you could let him be Jr Whopper with Cheese.
It would be so creepy that the bride and groom wouldn't even get mad. . .
. they'd be scared of the consequences.
posted by : Wed Mar 21, 01:56:00 PM Oh, congrats on the new addition.
. . .
let's see. . .
. didn't wombat come and visit you about 4 months ago? Nah.
. . .
couldn't be. . .
. . you look nothing like a bull.
posted by : Wed Mar 21, 01:58:00 PM Listen, kiddo, this pregnancy: You got any idea what caused it?
posted by : Thu Mar 22, 08:19:00 PM I hate it when people decide to have social gatherings when you're pregnant. I mean, my family insisted on celebrating Christmas when I was 4 months pregnant!
Yes, a six hour drive on Christmas Eve will definately leave you full of Holiday cheer!
Now at 7 months, I've have given up on all fashion sense as well. I highly suggest purchasing yourself a stylish shower curtain.
I looked at my local department store and found some fabulous patterns, complete with matching accesories. I recommend earrings a necklace styled from the matching curtain hooks. The possibilities are endless.
Oh, and my father's recommendation of chaps a thong definately do make a statement, but I think it might be slightly distasteful to steal the bride's wedding night attire.
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