Today, millions of women across the globe are celebrating their social, political, cultural and economic achiemevents which have aided in their transformation from mere objects of pleasure to really powerful objects of pleasure. So, as always, I am commiting myself to analysing the scenario and spreading awareness about how woman have been smart enough to acquire a day for themselves and are really happy celebrating it, while the still smarter men are extremely pleased to silently watch the group of girls in such celebrations. Let me warn you before hand that the analysis shatters the myth that women had been suppressed for many years.

It's based on the fact that women suffered at the hands of men for decades and inflicted suffering for centuries. So it's basically like Da Vinci Code : totally exciting and completely false. It all started off long long ago, so long ago that nobody could say how long ago.

Creation of Universe God was busy creating the universe and he had only 7 days for that task. However God, being God, handled it all like a child's play. "Let there be light", he said and there was light.

"Let there be animals", he said and there was the Vijaya TR family. After God received complaints of ear bleeding from their fellow animals, he thought that Vijaya TR must be made to sleep to prevent ecological imbalance. So he said, "Let there be darkness", and consequently there was Dr.

Prakash and Sivakasi Jayalakshmi. Finally, the tough part. After putting a lot of thought, God created man first.

He thought to himself : Umm, I can definitely do much better! He tried again and this time created woman. Now he thought : Damn my overconfidence, I swear on God, yeah that's me, that I'd never try again!

Thus came two of the most important species on planet earth. Man and woman did not know the very purpose of their existence in this cruel world, for there were no porno movies then. Woman had however discovered a new weapon - her speech, one that continued to torture man for centuries to come.

The fact that the speech consisted mainly of "Grrr", "Tutt tutt" and "Baa Baa Boo" did not make matters by any means soothing. Man could speak too, but he was usally left speechless, understandably so, since they had not discovered as yet that leaves could be used for clothing. The torture was on the rise with the woman's lexicon increasing a rapid pace and man had to find out some way to cope up.

"Baa Grrr", he used to curse the guy who, of all things to do in the world, discovered clothes. If that was not enough, he haid to pay 10 pebbles for a plankton leaf skirt and coconut leaf tops for her, while there was just one type of clothing for himself- cactus briefs, which he figured he'd rather stay without. It was in this year that the female domination faded away a little.

Man had effectively devised a method to make his female partner finally shut up. Gopale Kissne, a native of France, discovered the solution while administering mouth-to-mouth on a hawt chic and got really excited that the chic choked to death. This was later named after Kissne and came to be known French Kiss.

This was, however, not a definitive solution since for figures like Soha Ali Khan, the tip of the nose was 1.4 km from the face and this made the approach difficult. Nonetheless, a revolutionary breakthrough had been made.

In accordance with Darwin's theory of evolution, which was non-existant then, women learnt to adapt after 500 odd years of suppression. It took them such a huge span of time to realise that they could cry and use it effectively against the menfolk. So they started crying day in and day out, without glycerine, without provocation, without Ekta Kapoor and Karan Johar.

All men hate tears, except Karan Johar ofcourse, and by the same non-existant Darwin's theory they knew that it would take around 500 years for them to adapt. Why the hell did the non-existant theory have to be so slow? That was still a mystery obviously because the theory was still non-existant.

The solution did come, but it was an expensive one. The male gender decisively concluded that to stop the tears women had to be distracted. They had to be involved in something that enchanted them.

So, men decided to send them off shopping. The possibilities were never ending since every woman was capable of identifying the difference between a Blackish Black and a Very Very Dark Blackish Blacker Black. Men were not allowed to accompany them, since women felt it was sacrilegious that men were incapable of spotting discernible variations between a Blackish Black and a Very Very Dark Blackish Blacker Black, which the men gladly accepted.

Woman were thus under control, yet again. Darwin proposed his theory of natural selection exactly ten years before the birth of Mahatma Gandhi. Not that this adds any significance to our analysis, just that I know these details.

Women finally started realising that shopping had distracted them so much that they did not even know the really obvious fact Mahatma Gandhi was forty years old, Nehru was twenty and most importantly that there was no difference between a Blackish Black and a Very Very Dark Blackish Blacker Black. So they decided to protest, make their presence felt and get back to shopping first thing the next day morning. A National Conference for Women was held to spread awareness and this was attended by 3 women from 5 countries (two of them had dual citizenship), who decided that it din matter if Mahatma Gandhi was forty and went on to discuss why one of them was wearing a Blackish Black earring for a Very Very Dark Blackish Blacker Black dress (some people held their beliefs that these were two distinct colours and that those who believed otherwise were men).

The conference made waves all over the world and all women finally decided that it din matter to them if Mahatma Gandhi was forty. Women in Russia demanded bread, peace, cheese and a diamond ring from the Czar on the last Sunday of February. The Czar decided to hold a meeting with women and settle the issue.

: So, what is it that you people want? : (After was a quiet discussion with all her mates) Nothing. Today, millions of women across the globe are celebrating their social, political, cultural and economic achiemevents which have aided in their transformation from mere objects of pleasure to really powerful objects of pleasure.