p strong Breaking News!! /strong In yet another twist to the whole story, Rahul Mahajan now appears to have applied for Sainthood!
Below is the actual copy of a copy of the letter sent to the Pope: /p p img src= http://thevoiceinmyhead.com/wp-content/rahul_angel.jpg width= 300 height= 333 alt= title= / /p p ----------------------------------------------- br/ Dear Pope Benedict XVI, /p p b Ref.
: Application to become Patron Saint of Politicians Sons /b /p p I know you have a reputation for being somewhat of a strict pope (especially when compared to the last one) but I do believe you re an intelligent man, which is why I will state my claim to Sainthood very simply (in a manner even you will not be able to refute) as follows: /p ol li strong I am a Politician s Son. /strong Ok, granted, daddy dear has died. But that doesn t mean I ll not have uncles (God bless dear Munde uncle) and secys (ok, he s dead too now, but I ll get a new one) and tons of others still rallying around me.
I don t know how familiar you are with Indian politics, but remember for us here it s: em Once a politician s son, always a politician s son. /em /li p li strong Our Family History is impeccable. I know some people may harp on about the fact that Pravin uncle shot my father in cold blood, but hey - which family doesn t have these trivial family problems?
/li /p p li strong I am a Holy boy /strong . Why, didn t you see or read the press coverage about me praying all over town when daddy was in hospital? I even visited your Mount Mary s Basilica in Bandra and offered prayers there.
Yes sure, there were tons of press following my every move (it s easy to court these guys) and who remembers the fact that daddy s party is against the Catholics? Not me! I still went to the church, like a good holy politician s son should.
/li /p p li strong I have a respectable career /strong . Which is what, you ask? It s not the flight training that I flunked out of in America after daddy spent much of the nation s hard earned money on it.
It s not the software company I started with my friends that also failed. It s not even the production company I started - it s the fact that I m a politician s son. /p p Pope, get one thing straight: em that /em is a career in itself.
Now that daddy has died, it s upto me to bear his mantle. Who cares about finding election-worthy candidates? Here we just pull out family members and put them into the dead family member s seat.
It s an age old policy - heck, give the Congress credit where credit is due, they ve got a patent on this. This is who I am, what I was born into. It s as if here in India we have a Political Royalty .
But we ve already established that, so I ll move on. /li /p p li strong I have clean habits. /strong I don t drink alcohol (never even held anyone else s drink in my hand) or smoke or do drugs (perish the thought!
). What s that? You heard some news about me and my dead dad s now dead secy doing drugs and nearly dying of an overdose together?
/p p Hasn t being in public life taught you anything?? You should never believe what you read in the press or hear in the news immediately after the event.
You should wait until our uncles and other corrupt well-wishers have the time to buy off the right people (yes, it does take a few hours) and then only believe what they want you to. /p p The official version is that there was no drugs in my blood (yippee for corrupt doctors in Delhi) and there was just a low alcohol content (give me some more time though, will have that wiped clean too). /li /p p li strong I surround myself with good holy friends /strong .
What s this? You don t believe Sahil Zaroo is holy? How could you not?
He has stated openly to the press em I am innocent...
forget drugs, I have never had alcohol in my life /em . What more do you want?!
Come on! Let s just believe him! /p p Why, look at the facts that drug dealers all over Mumbai and Delhi all say they knew him very well (why should we believe them, they re drug dealers!
) or that his fellow college-goers say that he and his friends used to lock themselves in the toilets and do drugs, disrupt college functions etc. (don t believe these either, they re either Catholics dogs from Xaviers or they re jealous of his fancy cars, his fancy cellphone and his striking resemblance to Fardeen Khan and I don t mean FK s sniffing habits). /p p I say he s just the type of friend a good politician s son should have.
One who s available to do my work for me (run simple Rs. 15,000/- errands) and one whose daddy can also get him out of trouble (hey, my family can t do everything for everyone). /li /p p li strong Only the best will do for me /strong .
I have been brought up with all the right values - that if you ve got to do something, you might as well do it as best as you can. This is why even when I m snorting cocaine, I only use a 500 rupee note. Only the best will do for me.
What happened to the 1,000 rupees notes? Come on Pope, I m no waster. /li /p p li strong I have a power PR team: /strong Forget all the guys in advertising!
The real creative geniuses are in politics. They can make conspiracy theories out of clear cut and dry cases. Why, isn t it wonderful - they find the cocaine, they have the dead secy s body, they have statements of my three friends and of numerous servants.
But in come my PR guys BOOM! Suddenly, it s clear that I wasn t even doing drugs, nor was the dead secy - someone was just trying to murder us. /p p I d like to state at this juncture, I m not a Manu Sharma who has murdered in cold blood in front of witnesses or an Abhishek Kasliwal who with his friends has gang raped several women several times.
Even if I was to be convicted, the worst thing I could be guilty of is of abusing my own body. /p p But as we ve already established due to my power PR team, that s never going to happen. You think you have power?
! Even if I did a Manu Sharma or a Kasliwal, I still would be innocent. Now, that s power!
/li /p p li strong Here s my Final Virtue! /strong I come from the land called Hindustan! Better still, from Hindustan s Political Sons haven, the capital Delhi!
Here we do what we want, when we want and no one dares say anything against us. Here we make parachutes (emphasis on the latter half of the word) of all the common people. Most of them are illiterate anyway, just willing to believe anything that s drilled into them.
/p p The literate ones who can think for themselves and can understand the bull*^$# we re doling out, are too scared (and with good reason!) to do anything. /p p And the few literate ones who actually have some gumption to stand up and try fight - HA, I say!
HA! What can those poor #$ ^^ do? They re the most to be pitied.
After all, the doctors, the newspapers, the TV channels, they re all in our pockets. What facts do they have about anything? What in Mother Hindustan s name can they do?
Well? /li /ol /p p So to conclude, as the above facts very clearly show - I am the ideal candidate for the Patron Saint of Politicians Sons title. True, there are numerous other Politicians sons in India who have gotten away with hit and runs, rapes and murders, but they haven t had so much publicity (see, daddy s death has worked for my good!
). /p p Incidentally Pope, if I haven t made myself clear, I d like to have my sainthood em with immediate effect /em . After all, I might just pop off on a cocaine overdose like the night before my dad s ashes were going to be dropped into a much televised part of a river.
/p p Sorry, did I say that? I change that to - I d like to have my sainthood with immediate effect just in case I almost die due to unknown reasons that supposed medical professionals are still baffled about. /p p Yours etc.
etc., /p p Rahul Mahajan /p p em (What s the first step? I become Blessed Rahul Mahajan?
Hmmm.) /em /p p strong Breaking News!!
/strong In yet another twist to the whole story, Rahul Mahajan now appears to have applied for Sainthood! Below is the actual copy of a copy of the letter sent to the Pope: /p p img src= http://thevoiceinmyhead.com/wp-content/rahul_angel.
jpg width= 300 height= 333 alt= title= / /p p ----------------------------------------------- br/ Dear Pope Benedict XVI, /p p b Ref.: Application to become Patron Saint of Politicians Sons /b /p p I know you have a reputation for being somewhat of a strict pope (especially when compared to the last one) but I do believe you re an intelligent man, which is why I will state my claim to Sainthood very simply (in a manner even you will not be able to refute) as follows: /p ol li strong I am a Politician s Son.
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