You can never be too sure about movies these days.
You watch a film and, suddenly, shocking nudity is splashed on the silver screen. Or violence is thrown at you from left field, or there's sex, profanity and gore -- all of which you never suspected by the advertisements for the flick.
That's why we all need to ask Sister to give us her picks for the good, the bad and the ugly in cinema. The ruler-wielding Sister will not disappoint when she give us a thumbs up or down on the films we should or should not see at "Sunday School Cinema," at 3 p.m.
Sundays at the Royal George Theatre in Chicago, starting this week.
"In this irreverent satire, Sister will be viewing movies, or what she says is the filth that passes as entertainment," said Vicki Quade, the creator of "Sunday School Cinema."
"In the show, Sister arrives to introduce the guest speaker, Father Michael.
But he doesn't show up. She's supposed to cancel the event and refund the audience's money, but there are no refunds in the Catholic Church. So, even though Sister is ill prepared, she is going to teach the Father's course.
"
Quade said every performance will be different because new movies are released to the public every week. And audiences will be asked to write down their favorite films before the show begins. Sister will pull those submissions from a fish bowl and will riff on those movies.
"The show will have questions and answers in which Sister can engage the audience. Besides giving her critical impressions from her Catholic point of view, she'll also tell the audience which screen stars are Catholic," Quade said.
"Sister also will let her audience in on the celebrities (who) are only half-Catholic.
She even knows which actors studied for the priesthood, and which ones were Catholic but converted to another religion."
Quade said the idea for the show had been "staring me in the face" for years.
"I had photos promoting my shows ("Late Nite Catechism" and "Put the Nuns in Charge") on the bulletin board of the Royal George Theatre for years.
There were photos of Loretta Young as a nun, nuns from "Lilies of the Field," Audrey Hepburn in "The Nun," Ingrid Bergman in "The Bells of St. Mary's," and "The Flying Nun," Quade said.
"As people walked down the hallway of the theater, they'd look at the board and the photos, and if I was around, they would ask me questions about it.
It finally occurred to me to take a Catholic point of view of movies and put it on stage," she said.
Quade grew up in Burbank, went to Queen of Peace High School, transferred to Reavis High School and received a journalism degree from Northern Illinois University. She wrote the biography "I Remember Bob Collins," which was about the WGN-AM (720) host who was killed in a plane crash in 2000.
In addition, she conceived and produced "Late Nite Catechism" (a nostalgic look at growing up Catholic) -- now in its 15th year in Chicago and the longest running one-person comedy in the city's history; and "Put the Nuns in Charge," a look at contemporary sins now in its third year.
Both shows still are running at the Royal George.
"When I was young, there were always movies that were condemned.
Those were always the ones I wanted to see," Quade said. "In 'Sunday School Cinema,' I'm using the Catholic filter I was raised with and putting a comic spin to it.
"I did an enormous amount of research into movies and stars for this production.
I had to watch a lot of films and read lots of Hollywood tabloids to give Sister (played by Elaine Carlson, who previously starred in "Put the Nuns in Charge") lots of notes.
"Movies have been so bad lately, and there are so many sequels," Quade said, "that I'm sure Sister will have plenty of material to laugh at."
When: Opens Sunday and plays every Sunday at 3 p.
m. in an open run
Tickets: $30, with discounts for students and seniors
Etc.: "Late Nite Catechism" plays at 8 p.
m. Thursdays and Saturdays. and "Put the Nuns in Charge" plays at 8 p.
m. Fridays and 5 p.m.
Saturdays at the Royal George Theatre.
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