May 11th, 2007 at 13:00 by Stuart Heritage
On the basis that we ve listened to the Buena Vista Social Club CD once and we d like to see what an authentic non-pikey mojito tastes like, we want to visit Cuba - and if we do, chances are we won t get in as much trouble as Michael Moore.
Michael Moore is making a new documentary about medicine and stuff entitled Sicko, and part of the film apparently sees Moore and a bunch of 9/11 victims go to Cuba to party down, Havana-style. Or something.
Anyway, now the American government has launched an investigation into what Michael Moore was doing in Cuba in the first place, since it looks like his trip was unauthorised. All this means that Michael Moore could face a punishment of up to ten years in jail, which would surely be a blow for everyone who mostly agrees with the points Michael Moore films make in principle even though they sort of wish the obese pretend blue-collar millionaire would stop blathering on so self-righteously all the pissing time.
When Michael Moore makes a documentary, the world listens.
Michael Moore made Bowling For Columbine and there was never another shooting in a school ever again. Michael Moore made Fahrenheit 9/11 and the War On Terror stopped immediately. And now Michael Moore is making Sicko, a film which will single handedly make Michael Moore a lot of money make all medicine free for everyone forever.
In honesty, Michael Moore s documentaries do raise a lot of awareness. Fahrenheit 9/11 took $222 million at the box office, helped bolster the anti-war movement and almost managed to make George Bush lose an election because of a video of him playing golf in a funny way. Sure, an for putting him in the film deliberately out of context, but never mind that.
And Sicko, Michael Moore s new film about the pharmaceutical industry, comes out next month. It s just a shame that he went to Cuba to film part of it without asking the American government for permission first, because now he s being investigated. Reuters reports:
The U.
S. government has launched a probe into whether maverick director Michael Moore broke laws when he went to Cuba for a new movie about U.S.
health care. U.S.
citizens face civil and/or criminal penalties for unauthorised travel to the communist country, the U.S. Treasury Department warned in a letter to the Oscar-winning director that was posted on Moore s Web site on Thursday.
The government is seeking Michael Moore s travel dates, details of the travellers and reason why he went to Cuba in the first place. Americans have been banned from visiting Cuba without government permission since 1962 and face up to ten years in jail or a $250,000 fine if they are caught doing so.
But don t feel bad for Michael Moore - this sort of controversy provides exactly the sort of publicity that Sicko needs, plus it s a win-win for everyone involved.
The American government gets to endlessly carp on about what a dangerous anti-American lunatic Michael Moore is some more, while Moore himself gets to endlessly carp on about how much the government hates him because of how cool and anti-establishment he is. And the rest of us can watch each side destroy each other so we can live the rest of our lives in peace for a bloody change.
While the exact details of Michael Moore s trip to Cuba haven t been revealed - the 9/11 victim theory has already been discredited - we re sure that it ll be revealed when Sicko is released, along with other pieces of searing social commentary like clips of Michael Moore shouting at a confused receptionist, Michael Moore getting some ill people to stand outside a building and Michael Moore violently shaking his fist at a packet of Aspirin for 15 minutes solid.
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