Lipstick Mystic Stars™..

Jennifer Shepherd is an astrologer who believes that the humor impaired should be treated as “persons of interest.” Sign up for the Lipstick Mystic’s free newsletter and be automatically eligible for her drawing for a tea leaf reading. Experience the synchronicitea!

Pirates of the Caribbean star Orlando Bloom knows how to keep his head in a crisis. A stalker recently broke into his hotel room, angry that he never acknowledged her when she showed up at his premieres. Instead of attacking her, Orlando comforted her.

He apologized and gave her a hug. Later he said the incident gave him insight into what fans go through. Of course, they don’t usually break into hotel rooms.

Jupiter is reminding you not to do anything crazy if your secret crush is ignoring you.
Gisele Bundchen has parted ways with Victoria’s Secret after they refused to fatten her $5 million paycheck. The supermodel will no longer serve as the face of the lingerie company.

She’ll have lots of time on her hands now that she’s quit her job and Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t want to date her anymore. The new moon has you making a fresh start, too. Your couch potato syndrome is going into remission and you won’t rest until you’ve got buns of steel and killer abs.

Bruce Willis says he doesn’t have to worry about turning up in the gossip columns because at 52, he’s too old to interest the tabloids. He compares the “anything goes” attitude of today’s young stars to the decline of morals during the fall of Rome. When pop tarts are exposing their naked lady parts everywhere, he says “It’s over, man.

” Civilization may well be coming to an end, but you’re okay with that. It’s the end of the world as you know it, but Mercury has you feeling fine.
CANCER June 22 - July 22 An optimistic sun is inspiring you to focus on self-improvement.

You have your flaws, and you want to fix them. Still, if your Scientologist hubby told you that you need to take “mommy classes,” he’d soon be sporting a black eye. Us Magazine reports that Katie Holmes has been forced to take Scientology-approved courses on how to be a fit mother.

Somehow, you doubt that her honey Tom has been dragged to fatherhood courses. Solar energies say that if somebody you love is out of line, smack ‘em.
LEO July 23 - August 22 News flash: Lindsay Lohan is lonely, folks!

She explained to Nylon Magazine that the reason why she’s out partying every night is because she hates to be on her own. And she says she really hates sleeping alone. She also claimed that she enjoys having paparazzi scramble for her photograph because it means somebody cares about her.

Yikes! Get this girl to a therapist, stat! Venus is giving you (and LLo) a reality check.

There are positive forms of attention seeking and not so positive ones.
VIRGO August 23 - September 22 You’ve dreamt of this day. Spinal Tap is reuniting!

The spoof rock supergroup appears in a new short film and will also make a live appearance at July’s Live Earth celebration in London. The short film, which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival, brings fans up-to-date on the careers of Nigel Tufnel, David St. Hubbins, and Derek Smalls.

As might be expected, they’ve been having hilarious adventures. As Mercury speeds ahead, you’re reconnecting with old fans and friends just like Spinal Tap. Courtney Love says she’s selling off hubby Kurt Cobain’s stuff.

The Nirvana star’s widow has had his property valued at $40 million, and she intends to sell most of it to private collectors. She insists that daughter Frances Bean doesn’t need more than a few items to remember her father by. A guitar and some flannel shirts is enough.

But is that really true? A Mars opposition is telling you that maybe – just maybe - something you’re doing for money isn’t so cool.
Just when you’ve become convinced that you’re all that plus a bag of chips, reality intrudes upon your fantasy.

Eric Bana was brought down to earth about his acting skills while filming Lucky You. The movie features scenes with real poker players. While Bana filmed a long scene, one of the players next to him fell asleep.

The new moon opposite your sign is showing you that not everybody is impressed with you. Work a little harder to win the trust and respect of others in your circle. Former King of Pudge Nick Carter has apparently had a makeover.

The Backstreet Boy has shed about thirty pounds in six weeks. He’s been working with a trainer and following the Nutri System diet program. His buddy Joey Fantone says Carter is keeping quiet about his weight loss for the moment because he wants to lose another five pounds.

A moon square is encouraging you to keep plugging away until you reach your intended goal. Don’t let the cat out of the bag until the kitty is ready to sing. Russell Crowe hasn’t had a hit in a while, but he could strike gold with his next movie.

He’ll play the Sheriff of Nottingham in Nottingham. The movie features the lawman as the hero working for a corrupt king. And there will be a love triangle between the sheriff, Robin Hood and Maid Marion.

Will audiences embrace another Robin Hood story? Or is the memory of Kevin Costner as Robin, complete with tights and an American accent, still too fresh? The sun says don’t be afraid to tackle a project nobody else will dare touch.

Natalie Portman is taking up a worthy cause. The V for Vendetta actress is working with an organization which gives small loans to impoverished people in developing countries. She enjoys seeing young mothers receive funds so they can start their own businesses and break out of poverty.

It’s good stuff. Big-hearted Jupiter might inspire you to support a charity. And no, giving money to your deadbeat roommate doesn’t count.

Start a Save the Weasels campaign or educate the masses about how reality television causes brain rot. Two planets in your sign are urging you to do what you feel is important. Tobey Maguire didn’t leave his baby daughter’s side for three weeks after she was born.

Now that his baby is a little older, he and her mum brought her to the Spiderman 3 world premiere in Tokyo. Follow your heart. If your schnauzer is still recovering from a recent encounter with an alley cat, stay home with him and help him nurse his wounds.