May 3rd, 2007 at 11:30 by Stuart Heritage
It s inevitable that everyone will complain about their job at one point or another, and it s a given that when they do they ll instantly become the dullest person on Earth - and that goes double for glamorous millionaire filmstar Keira Knightley.
This is because Keira Knightley s job doesn t involve the slumped, day in, day out drip-drip grind that most of the rest of us encounter - or, we dare say, the tightening sensation in her chest that comes with knowing that this is all there is. Instead, Keira Knightley s job involves wearing pretty clothes, jetting around the world whenever she feels like it, hanging out with Johnny Depp all day and getting a disproportionate amount of praise for anything that she actually does.
But that hasn t stopped Keira Knightley from whinging about how much she wants to quit acting. And she s in luck, too - our local branch of Lidl is looking for a shelf-stacker at the moment.
There s genuinely nothing more tiresome than listening to someone infinitely better off than you complain about how rubbish their life is.
, and but - crucially - neither of them actually did anything about it.
This could be because they both convinced themselves that acting was a worthy and important profession, but it could also be that they realised they d never find another job where they d be paid millions of dollars to look pretty and fly around the world trailed by a gang of eager fans who d consider a brief, grubby moment of filmstar fellatio to be the pinnacle of their entire lives.
And the latest moviestar to publicly gripe about wanting to quit movies is Keira Knightley.
That s right - . Although in her short career Keira Knightley has been , starred in the got paid to and indulged in all sorts of , she s still found the time to complain about everything to Elle magazine like a slightly deluded arsehole. The Times reports:
Speaking to Elle magazine, Knightley said of her career: The celebrity thing is completely crazy.
I think I just have to move away or give it up altogether. I couldn t have kids in the situation I m in now. But I could just do something else.
That s probably what s going to happen. I m just not so hungry any more. I made a decision very recently that I wanted a life instead.
Part of the reason Keira Knightley wants to quit acting is thought to be because she s so vastly skinny that . So Keira Knightley s two main gripes about acting seem to be a) she doesn t like being famous and b) she s very skinny, which is weird because they can both be easily solved by a) not strutting around premiere red carpets in tiny dresses pouting into cameras like the world s biggest attention spaz and b) eating more crisps.
But fair play to Keira Knightley - if she wants to quit acting to take up something else like teaching or gardening or zookeeping or bartending or working in a jelly factory, then we should let her.
We should actively encourage Keira Knightley to quit acting, because there are a billion girls waiting to take her place and - if we re honest - nobody would really notice she d gone anyway.
Now we just have to wait for Orlando Bloom to quit acting too and we might consider going to see a Pirates Of The Caribbean movie.
Unfortunately your entire rant would fall to pieces if you read the actual interview and didn t just make something up based on an out of context quote and your preconceived notions of what it might contain.
You d find out that she doesn t actually say she ll quit acting. Only that she could perhaps see herself doing so in five years.
And she shows a very good understand of and sensible attitude towards the whole weight issue.
Which, of course, is bound to rub sites like this one the wrong way.
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