Dude this is something I can speak of ligit. I lived on the streets for a time when I was like 16, sellin dope on the corner with my homies and shit. I took LSD, mushrooms, smoked weed, drank alot.
When I was 18 I went to college, but became diillusioned in my third yaer and dropped out ( I was in a decently successful band, so I thought I was a rock star). I started slangin again and hangin around the sugar shack ( crackhouse) I held down a job for a few years moving furniture and whatever. I started gettin a little money from hustlin', and started partying hard core with dealers and shit.
Then shit got fucked up. I started smoking Crystal Meth, just so I could stay up later and party. Then I started doin blow on the regular.
After two years of this I moved into a loft downtown and lost it completely, I was smokin meth and crack, started shootin coke and heroin, morphine. I was fucked up. I got clean for a minute, then I met a girl who I liked and started partying again.
I was back on the pipe quick and for like a year I fell down into a death spiral. Lost my job, my house, everything. One day a good bro of mine phoned me and weas like You I saw your moms yesterday and she asked me whet was up with you, so I told her the truth.
When I next talked to my mom, she told me I was going to die if I didn't get out. So I bailed. I moved out of town into her and her new husband's place for a while and started hangin with friends I hadn't hung out with in a while.
One day I accepted Jesus back into my life adn I haven't been the same since. I will always crave dope on some level. You never forget the feeling of hittin that pipe, or shootin that rig, but I have God on my side so I will win.
Some aren't so fortunate and they have no foundation to build something on. You can't beat the demon alone, that's why almost all rehab programs that actually work are faith based. I still love to steam a blunt and sip a Becks, but I know one false move and I could lose it all again.
That's what drives me everyday. God pulled me out of hell, so I keep Him Most High. I've left my past behind meand by no means consider myself an addict, but I know on some level I am.
Keeping my past in my present would be counterproductive. I'm not dead or in jail. I WIN!
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