LET'S face it, the Australian MTV Awards have always been a little on the cheap and nasty side. They're like theDaytime Emmys.
So it's no surprise that there's been a bucket of controversy over tonight's affair, with US gangsta rap artist'' Snoop Dogg refused entry to the country on the grounds of bad character'' and an inability to write a song that contains melody, can be played on an organ and be hummed by my mother''.
Obviously, the second objection to his entry is fairly personal, but it's what we're all thinking.
The MTV Awards are deliberately brash. They're the ARIAs in short pants.
Or, increasingly, no pants.
Who could forget the extraordinary performance in 2005 of the late breast-implant model Anna Nicole Smith? Anna Nicole arrived on the Luna Park stage wearing a face not dissimilar to the famous leering grin at the park's entrance.
She proceeded to expose her enhanced womanhood and leap on a clearly frightened Daniel Johns, then of the Dissociatives, now again of Silverchair.
Now, as I write, Mr Dogg is still battling to convince authorities that his criminal record shouldn't stop him handing out awards.
Perhaps I've become a curmudgeonly old fogey.
Perhaps my objection - not to Snoop's criminal record so much, but to his criminal lyrics - smacks of an old-timer out oft ouch with how the young people think.
Have I become those people you see in the black-and-white newsreels from the days of the young Elvis Presley?
The woman in the box hat and gloves saying Elvis's hip-swivelling is the work of the devil?
Southern gents in high-waisted pants saying rock'n'roll will turn our children into deviants?
Guess what? I don't care.
I'm quite happy to hear the occasional rap song.
But I have no sympathy for Mr Dogg, whose lyrics are deliberately offensive, misogynistic, gun-happy and pro-violence.
When Elvis appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show for the third time, 50 years ago - yep, it was January, 1957 - he was filmed only from the waist up.
There's now some debate about whether this was because of a fear that America wasn't ready to see him shake, rattle and roll below the belt or because there was a rumour that he was going to add a vegetable, Spinal Tap style, to the inside of his trouser front. Still with me?
The point is, despite the King's lewd dance moves, he was singing lyrics like:
You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time, You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.
''
Fifty years on, Snoop is continuing the hound theme, but with a slightly less savoury approach.
With words like this: And every hustler in my clique got to get his grip. And in my world a girl is considered a biiiiiitch.
''
Or this, from the evocatively titled Back Up Ho: Hold on, put your clothes on, bitch, you ain't 'bout to get your doughs on, Go in the kitchen and hook me up something to eat, And put the TV on BET,
And toss me a LA Times and roll one of them dimes, And make sure the radio works, And get me some orange juice with the ice in a cup, I know I'm the man, damn, but I'm a motherf****** pimp and Idon't give a f***, And when I wake up in the morning, bitch, you know what's up.''
I know young women who think Snoop is cool, and perhaps there's a delicious irony that's lost on me.
But I don't think so.
Perhaps it's just a generational thing. It happens in the Australian cricket team all the time, with young pups like Michael Clarke railing against the old blokes hogging the dressing-room CD player and insisting on Cold Chisel.
I'm sure the great Glenn McGrath would stand firmly against Snoop Dogg's repertoire, although he'd relate to the gunplay sections.
No matter what happened in the World Cup final last night, McGrath deserved to be covered in glory for his last game in Australian colours.
In my dreams, he took crucial early Sri Lankan wickets, then was elevated in the batting order as Australia chased down a meagre total.
A trademark slapped six over midwicket brought up the winning runs.
He was chaired off the field by jubilant teammates _ to the tune of anything but Snoop Dogg.
Tony Squires is heard on Vega 95.3FM weekday mornings.
Tony Squires comments on Snoop Dogg are spot on. The only thing that surprises me is not that he was prevented from entering Australia but that he wasn t offered the job of Director-General of NSW Education.
Posted by: Ryszard Linkiewicz of Caringbah 2:38pm April 29, 2007 We welcome your comments on this story.
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