May 18th, 2007 at 10:30 by Stuart Heritage
We ve never been gladder to see a Friday roll around - it means that after today we won t have to do any more of these godawful Any Dream Will Do betting odds, and not a moment too soon.
Next week we re going to start on some preemptive Big Brother betting odds. Yes, that means we ll be effectively offering betting odds on a show that hasn t even started yet - but after looking at a show as useless as Any Dream Will Do, we ve decided that running betting odds on how many shards of frozen animal turd we can jab into our eyes in 60 seconds would be better than looking at Any Dream Will Do for even a second longer than we have to.
We don t even care who wins Any Dream Will Do - we re just pleased we won t have to think about any more. Apart from this next bit, obviously.
Keith Jack - Keith Jack is a greedy bastard; he s got two first names, just like George Michael and Barry Jonathan.
But as well as having too many names, Keith Jack is also in possession of too many teeth - a disability that has somehow pushed him into the hearts of the Any Dream Will Do viewers, who seem to think that he s the second-favourite to win the show. And, let s be fair, we can see why - in a pool of constantly-weeping wannabe actors, Keith Jack is a relatively humble Scottish customer assistant at a supermarket who likes nothing more than to teach his wee cousin guitar. Now, we aren t sure what a wee cousin is but we expect it s a slightly dirty version of a blood brother.
Anyway, on Any Dream Will Do Keith Jack has won everyone over, earning plaudits like perfection and sizzler whatever that means. We haven t really been watching Any Dream Will Do but we assume that one week Keith Jack must have done a song by the Jamaican dancehall star Sizzla - possibly Babylon A Use Dem Brain or Blaze Up Di Chalwa. Current Any Dream Will Do betting odds - 15/8
Lee Mead - Without a shadow of a doubt, Lee Mead is the most accomplished Any Dream Will Do hopeful.
He s understudied in big productions - and not for witless tosspots like Adam Rickett either - plus he s had small roles on BBC dramas and, somewhat unfairly, has been in a touring version of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. But most impressively of all, Lee Mead danced in the video to It s Raining Men by Geri Halliwell. Who knows what valuable tips Lee will have picked up from working with someone as prolifically talented as Geri Halliwell?
Possibly talking only about himself, getting dangerously skinny and possessing a weird self-belief that acts as a natural repellent for any kind of human relationship, we expect. Anyway, as the favourite to win Any Dream Will Do, Lee Mead is - in effect - the Leona Lewis of the show. Oh, you remember who Leona Lewis was, surely.
Current Any Dream Will Do betting odds - 5/6
Next week - let the Big Brother betting odds onslaught commence. But if that s too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the to see the latest, and best, betting odds.
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