Let's Leave the Suits to Cathy Addison-Weemer There are two kinds of people in this world: people who have to wear suits, and people who don't. And up until recently, everyone followed the rules: the people who had to wear wore suits--well, they wore them, except on Fridays. And the people who didn't?
Well, they didn't. Of course, there were a couple of exceptions, but they always looked ridiculous. I'm not just talking about Hawaiian shirt guy at the office, either--it works both ways.
I can remember many instances when, while flipping through the Victoria's Secret catalogue, I saw something like the picture at left and thought, And just what are we up to today, Ms. Giselle? On our way to a board meeting?
How realistic! And the reason I say she looks ridiculous is not to demean her or her profession; if anything, it's to glorify her. Hel-lo, lady!
You are a six foot tall Brazilian miracle of genetics with hair like a dream and better proportions than you could invent robotically. So let's be honest here: you do not wear suits, except of the bathing variety. And that's how it be for someone like you.
She's just doing her job. I get it. That's a perfectly acceptable excuse--an excuse that, unfortunately, cannot be invoked by the crop of starlets who have recently been parading around Hollywood showing off what magazines are calling the menswear trend.
Yes, the stars are now wearing tighter, sexier versions of the buttoned, collared, pinstriped crap that us normal Americans have to wear. I do not think this is cute, whimsical, or clever. I think this is an affront to anyone who has ever had to wear such fabrics and cuts un-ironically, which is most of us with It's so patronizing!
Like, look at me! I'm wearing people clothes! Like you!
It's so fun! Don't you just love it? Well, I don't love it--in fact, I haven't felt this patronized by celebrities since they got all political in 2004 and thought that by wearing John Kerry T-shirts they could trick us into thinking voting was cool so we could go do their bidding at the polls.
I know what this suit thing is about, too. It feeds into a lot of common celebrity preocupations, like: Desire to legitimize themselves. Celebrities are always looking for ways to show that they are smart and business-minded, and that we should respect them for more than just their work.
(This mystifies me because, personally, if people are going to give me their money either way, I don't see why I should waste my time trying to get their approval as well.) Anyway, apparently nothing says mogul like a cropped vest. Fascination with the normal world.
This is like how we all used to pretend to be writing cursive when we were little, even though we were just making loops and swirls on the page. It seemed cool and grown up at the time, but then we learned cursive for real and the mystery was gone. Except for celebs, business casual dress never lost its mystery.
And, apparently, some of it is still really confusing, because that's the only way you can really explain bowler hats. What it boils down to, really. And I guess--if Oliver Hardy is the feminine ideal of beauty--they do.
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