Winner)
ORANGE hellip; and so on)
No, ta)
Not because we enjoy watching famous people potentially go to prison, but because we wouldn rsquo;t hear any more tales of Jesus Juice.
Now all we have to go on is the expectation of a new Michael Jackson album that, like the new Guns N rsquo; Roses album, will be inevitably shit - if either of them actually ever come out. But instead of getting more botched plastic surgery or even trying to prove to the world he can still sing, Michael Jackson has strangely bought the rights to some of Eminem rsquo;s back-catalogue.
It seems as if working with the stupid named one from The Black Eyed Peas didn rsquo;t work out for him, so now Jackson has opted to try and become a new white rapper. Er hellip; scratch that last one.
Posted in , on June 1st, 2007 |
You know, people can get addicted to the strangest things.
Hecklerspray once shared a flat with a girl who thought that mixing Diet Coke and milk together made for the most delicious drink in the world. And - a little closer to home - there are certain members of the spray office who can t quite kickstart the day without wolfing down eight packets of Space Raider crisps. And who can blame them?
They are possibly the tastiest alien-based corn snack on the market.*
Calum Best, son of George (who was a bit of an alcoholic wife-beating thug, but he was jolly good at football, so that s okay), has only gone and gotten himself addicted to something much more disreputable. The 26-year-old model-slash-halfwit has announced that he is seeking help for his:
addiction to alcohol, drugs and prostitutes.
hecklerspray almost got knighted once - honest. The year was 1983 and we d just saved a royal kitten from the belly of a starving pauper. We were heroes.
People threw us parades, we opened three grocery stores and the Queen was thrilled to pieces.
Then some social group decided it wasn t ethical to open the bellies of poor people no matter what was inside - and that s when the tides changed. Our royal banquet was called off, we were forced to clean the ticker-tape someone else threw at us, and Cyndi Lauper gave our part to Captain Lou Albano.
We wanted to have fun too, lady.
But that s what fame and power does to you, right? It takes you to the highest highs and the lowest lows.
Just ask Paula Abdul - she knows. She just had a cry-filled phone conversation recorded and released to the public la Alec Baldwin. In it she talks about a bunch of things - cleaning up diarrhoea at Jimmy Kimmel s house is in the mix.
Or something like that.
Hear it here. Maybe.
The love between a parent and child is unconditional, which is just as well - because if it wasn t we d imagine that Lindsay Lohan wouldn t love her Dad for running around telling everyone who ll listen that his daughter is hooked on OxyContin.
Just as Lindsay Lohan probably thought that things couldn t get any worse for her - what with a potentially drug and booze-fuelled car crash and arrest and subsequent trip to rehab coinciding with some of Lindsay Lohan s friends telling the press about the time that Lindsay kept attempting suicide - her father Michael Lohan has decided to loudly claim that Lindsay Lohan is hooked on OxyContin. OxyContin, for the uninitiated, is a prescription painkiller with side effects loosely related to a heroin rush that, coincidentally, is mostly taken by people with girlfriends who think going to see Lindsay Lohan movies is a good idea.
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