"With these gas prices, I got smart. I'm driving the new Patrick Kennedy hybrid car. It runs on sleeping pills and when you get on the highway, it runs on alcohol.
" --Jay Leno "A lot of people are very upset that Congressman Patrick Kennedy was not given a blood alcohol test after his car accident last week. I understand why they didn't do it. It's kind of like giving President Bush the SAT test.
What's the point?" --Jay Leno "The president of Iran has written a letter to President Bush. This Iranian president is very smart.
To make sure Bush read the letter, he wrote it on Exxon stationary." --Jay Leno "The president of Iran sent George Bush an 18-page letter. 18 pages?
Yeah, like he's going to read that." --David Letterman "The president said his brother Jeb 'would be a great president.' I guess we voted for the wrong one then.
" --Jimmy Kimmel But, I am sure the vice president thought out his words very carefully. Cheney, he's not the kind of guy to shoot from the hip" --Jay Leno "Whatever he was on, it's just nice to see a lawmaker under the influence of something besides a lobbyist." --Bill Maher "Did you hear his excuse for hitting the barrier?
He said he had to swerve to avoid hitting Ted Kennedy who was crawling home. I guess the apple doesn t stagger too far from the tree." --Jay Leno "You know what we should do?
Next time a Kennedy gets in a car late at night, wake up Dick Cheney and have him shoot out the tires." --Jay Leno at 3:31 PM Driving One to Drink Pt 3 Of A Never Ending Series NSA has massive database of Americans' phone calls The National Security Agency has been secretly collecting the phone call records of tens of millions of Americans, using data provided by AT T, Verizon and BellSouth, people with direct knowledge of the arrangement told USA TODAY. The NSA program reaches into homes and businesses across the nation by amassing information about the calls of ordinary Americans - most of whom aren't suspected of any crime In defending the previously disclosed program, Bush insisted that the NSA was focused exclusively on international calls.
Bush explained, "one end of the communication must be outside the United States." Sources, however, say that is not the case. With access to records of billions of domestic calls, the NSA has gained a secret window into the communications habits of millions of Americans.
Customers' names, street addresses and other personal information are not being handed over as part of NSA's domestic program, the sources said. "With these gas prices, I got smart.
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