That said, there are occasions when every girl should be swimsuit ready. For one, I might win that dream vacation to the Galapagos Islands. For another, you never want to rule out the possibility of rollicking in the waves with some handsome devil, à la Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity.
So, I've got some work to do. First, I'm resolved to work on those wobbly bits with Bridget Jones-style workout conviction. And second, I've got to figure out the swimsuit that will do the rest.
Delusional? - Possibly. Determined?
- Absolutely. 
If you read glossy magazines, as religiously as I do, you know that they offer little to no help when it comes to cracking the swimsuit code. Instead, they feature photo-shoots by the likes of Mario Testino in impossible places like Iceland with some limber 16-year-old model dressed in a piece of string that barely covers the naughty bits.
Sure, it makes a pretty picture, but it's not much help when it comes to offering style advice. In a New-York minute, these swimsuits will land you in a wardrobe malfunction situation. And good luck going in the water or doing anything even vaguely athletic, like moving, in them.
So, let's immediately discount everything that falls into this category. This just isn't that kind of story. Instead, here are swimsuit tips to cure whatever ails ya.
On the flip-side, for those of us who want to scale-back our ample bosoms, fit is all important. Make sure there's no spillage or extreme exposure, or you'll look indecent rather than stylish. Also, be sure that your bust gets the support it needs with a built-in bra structure or underwire.
Stay away from strapless bikini or swimsuit styles - they won't support your girls. Finally, a crossover style literally cuts across the visual impact of your chest, minimizing its appearance. 
If you need something that helps slim you down all over, you need the "little black dress" of the swimsuit world: A black suit with a high-cut thigh.
This is the ultimate slimming style. Anything with an empire waist (just under the bust) will also slim you down, since it draws attention to the slimmest part of any woman's body. In terms of pattern, if you're looking for a slimming effect, you should always avoid horizontal stripes.
However, a chevron (v-shape) stripe is actually a slimming stripe. Finally, opt for a suit with super-technology, such as the much-acclaimed Miraclesuit, which has up to three times more spandex than most suits. If your particular concern is belly bulge, look to draw the eye up with a plunging suit that commands attention elsewhere.
Again, the wrap-around style, will have ruching that will help disguise any lumps and bumps in the tummy area. Similarly, details like" belts" around the midsection can break up the area. Back to pattern: Bold, graphic patterns keep the eyes moving and so can help distract from one "problem area" like a belly.
Finally, if you're looking for a bikini, focus on ones that cut just under the belly button - any lower and you could suffer from muffin top. Alternatively, choose a tankini over a bikini for some belly coverage. 
If you have a long torso and you feel you look too gangly in a swimsuit, you can play visual tricks to trim your torso.
The key is to use horizontal elements that will break the vertical line of your body. For instance, a tankini or bandeau style swimsuit will accomplish this. Choose a one-piece with detailing below the bust to break up the length too.
Also, you can visually attribute some of that torso length to your legs if you choose a high-cut leg. If your problem area is your legs, the aforementioned high-cut will help. Just don't cut above the hip bone or it will look like you're trying too hard.
Short-legged ladies should avoid boy shorts (they not only shorten the leg, but emphasize the bottom). And, don't be afraid to just distract entirely from your legs by emphasizing your bust or neckline. Trying on countless swimsuits, to find one great fit, may sound like a horror story to you.
But the fact is, once you find that great fit, you'll have more confidence and therefore you'll have a lot more fun in the sun. For those moments when you feel like running and hiding (you know, when a supermodel in a thong walks by), keep a cover-up handy. Not only will it help protect your skin from excess rays, it will protect your modesty when you step off the beach.
And if, like me, you feel like you need to lose a few pounds to really feel your best, think about all those beach activities that will get you into shape. Yes, yes, I'm thinking about From Here to Eternity again..
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