1000 Shades of Grey aka My Mate Paul A man who knows. He has seen the future, and it is domestic bliss with a beautiful wife. And he has achieved it.
He's just bought a cat, which I think he should call Cleopatra, because it's a great name. He likes Newcastle United and I like the fact that I can name the link after a David Holmes track. Paul is also the inventor of Cillit Bang.
The man of a thousand names and barely one personality. He has no access to the internet at the moment, so I can write whatever I want. He never does things the easy way, and that makes listening to his stories very funny indeed.
Steve used to play drums in a Herman's Hermits tribute band before they split after an argument over a packet of garibaldi biscuits, the details of which I am unable to discuss for legal reasons. Someone I have known far too long, and I know far too well. He is Bender to my Fry, in that on more than one occasion, he's actually tried to steal my blood.
The ladies seem to like him, but he's a fool, so he tends not to notice most of the time. Toby once ate 3 jars of olives during a screening of George of the Jungle and has fathered nearly 300 illegitimate children. Brat describes her blog as self obsessed, which is true, but also true of every other blog that's ever been written.
She misses out 'funny', 'ferocious', 'feminine' and 'fuck you'. A sparkling honesty keeps people hunting her down, even when she moves out of town, never looking back. Brat is the world record holder for accidental meetings with David Hasslehoff.
She has bumped into the superstar on no less than 14,000 occasions, all of which were unintentional. She did once attend a Baywatch convention deliberately intending to meet David, but ironically missed the legend due to him contracting a chronic bought of explosive diarrhoea, caught from swimming along the polluted American shoreline. Blog on The Run aka Laura Laura works in the music biz, which means she has the inside track on what's kicking off, and what's rubbish.
However, she has all that without the normal irritating smug bastard/coked up freak side effects. Which is ace. She has lots of friends who post on her blog.
She also sailed across the Atlantic in an inflatable dinghy after being refused service at a bar in Miami. She was heard across the Everglades yelling "at least I might be able to get a fucking drink in Portsmouth" as the tide took her Devon ho. I don't really know much about her, but I'm sure that's just the way she likes it.
I linked to her in return to her linking to me. She lives in New York and she is an Escort, but in an ironic twist, she in fact drives a Ford Cortina, which she lovingly restored from a wreck that she rescued from the bottom of the Grand Union Canal. It's lime green, with go faster stripes, and the envy of the East Side.
Kari hasn't posted for a while, and I think she's left her blog for dead, which is a shame really. She had potential with the kind of stream on conciousness style that i aspire to, but my years of English tutorials have crushed out of me. She was the inspiration for Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody', especially the part about the Fandango, even though she prefers the mashed potato, or, at a push, the Twist.
One of my favoured friend of a friend type links, Trixie knows what she likes, and that's bad ass wicked stylee muzak. She's recently moved to my neck of the woods, just like I have, and she obviously frequents the same sort of haunts I've been guilty of besmirching. It's only a matter of time before some sort of turf war erupts.
Which is appropriate, as Trixie is well versed in 15 different styles of martial arts, and recently performed all of the stunts in Kill Bill, except for the bit where Daryl Hannah loses her eye, because she thought it was "icky." N is another one of those people who has been around forever. Believe it or not, he has mellowed into a thoroughly decent chap who loves nothing more than sticking it to the playa haterz he deems worthy of cussing, all whilst loving his Mom.
Which is appropriate, and N was originally a founding member of 50 Cent's G-Unit crew. He was ironically replaced by The Game when he admitted that he hadn't actually been shot in the arm, and had in fact just bruised it on his flat's front door handle as he bent down to pick up his copy of Smash Hits magazine. The fact that that particular copy of Smash Hits contained the song lyrics to 50's arch enemy Ja Rule's latest joint 'The Reign', which bizarrely had Patrick Swayze in the video, was the last straw.
N was over. But G-Unit's loss is my Blogroll's gain! Another excellent strokey beard type title that once again puts into relief how rubbish mine is.
Ben is what I would term a real blogger, who makes my petty complaints about a lack of Chocolate Midnight Cookies in my local "24 hour" (when it wants to be) supermarket look...
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