Paris Hilton - Defamer

The Defamer Special Correspondent On Oscar Parties Which Began After We Were Already Passed Out And Didn't End By The Time We Regained Consciousness This Morning, after somehow surviving the horrors of a Foxx-Whitaker sandwich, has just filed this report from last night's after-orgy at 's temporary outpost in the Hills, where virtually everyone in Hollywood put in an appearance (Scorsese! Leo! Sober Lohan!

) at some time point during the night. The list of names far too numerous to render in boldface follows:

The place was packed and security was tight but it was worth it. I saw several floating around the party.

made the rounds with Bar in tow. He donned his usual ball cap. He's a really gracious person.

He recognized us and said hello. Just a brief encounter.
made a quick appearance.

Djimon Hounsou as sprawled out on a chair drinking a beer, meeting a girl.

· Entourage's Lloyd initially thinks that the guy might be a little unbalanced, but after figuring out he's probably just kidding, still decides .
· Are movie reviewers allowed to refer to Donald Trump's genitalia as "evil"? Apparently
· Our bold prediction: Wealthy famous person in legal peril still somehow avoids jail time We know we're really going out on a limb with that one.

President Monkey of [*name of that does not actually sell these entirely fictional shirts redacted] latest -themed t's.
· Judge for yourself: Did Denise Richards to the beach? Bonus: Telephoto lenses have rarely been .

[NSFW]
· : It's just like Big Brother, except it could go on forever and there might be actual prostitutes, not just the usual, fame-seeking kind you see on reality TV.
· (T-shirt to follow, if there already isn't one.)
There was a time in our lives would have made us really, really happy.

Now it just makes us want to put on Women and Children First and pray it's a hoax.
From the moment that rolled open the corrugated steel door jammed with 's abandoned bubble-bath videos, incriminating , and various diaries detailing the day-to-day life of America's most accomplished practitioner of the celebutard arts, it seemed destined to be shut down by a lawsuit. The AP reports that Hilton filed suit yesterday

"I was appalled to learn that people are exploiting my and my sisters' private personal belongings for commercial gain," Hilton said in a declaration supporting the lawsuit, adding she was concerned the information could be used for identity theft or harassment.

The lawsuit alleges defendants Nabil and Nabila Haniss paid $2,775 for the contents of the storage unit and later sold the items for $10 million to entrepreneur Bardia Persa, who created the site ParisExposed.com. [.

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