Subscribe to Archivestuff Have your say One of the world's best loved and famous open spaces. Visited by more than 10 million people each year, the 320 hectare North London park boasts two bandstands, three natural bathing ponds and a supervised swimming pool. Naturally enough it has been witness to countless break-ups, make-ups, meetings and departures.

Set on a balmy, summery Wednesday afternoon, Scenes of a Sexual Nature focuses on seven relationships. There's divorcing couple Pete (played by Adrian Lester) and Sara (Catherine Tate) contemplating making their split final; restaurant critic Brian (Douglas Hodge) and financial adviser Billy (Ewan McGregor) discussing the possibility of children; book dealer Gerry (Hugh Bonneville) and charity worker Julia (Gina McKee) fumbling through a first date; Jamie (Andrew Lincoln) caught perving at a pretty girl's exposed underwear by wife Molly (Holly Aird); Anna (Sophie Okonedo) having to fend off the advances of Noel (Tom Hardy) just minutes after being dumped by Ludo (Nicholas Sidi); and widowed pair Iris (Eileen Atkins) and Eddie (Benjamin Whitrow) who somehow seem familiar to one another. The only ones who seem to be truly happy this day are Louis (Mark Strong) and Esther (Polly Walker), although even their seemingly blissful relationship hides a dark secret.

Don't be fooled by the title of this film, Scenes is not a British version of the sexually explicit Shortbus. Plastic-mac wearers may well contemplate action under the Consumer Guarantees Act because it really is just a naked male bottom and some dirty talk on show here. The film is a little stiff, with the dialogue and segues too theatrical.

Its lack of naturalism also isn't helped by Dominik Scherrer's overbearing and manipulative score. Writer Aschlin Ditta struggles to produce a convincing whole, but does come up with some nice vignettes, particularly the McGregor/Hodge and Lester/Tate scenes, as well as some memorable conversations about what if the great fire of London had never happened, political correctness and the varying sex-symbol status of Felicity Kendall and Penelope Keith. Ditta appears to have set out to subvert the audience's expectations at every turn, and while that works the first time, familiarity breeds contempt.

Credit to the filmmakers for attracting such an amazing cast for this no-budget film (it cost less than $1m to make). It's just a pity they didn't give them all something interesting to say.