Take the punch line of every Helen Keller joke that made you wince, add the sexual immaturity of American Pie, blend with overeager actors and you have the recipe for Blind Dating. A more tasteless concoction is hard to find in theaters now, and why would you search?
Blind Dating stars Chris Pine (Just My Luck) as Danny, a handsome guy who happens to be ndash; that s right ndash; blind.
And he wants a date, hence the title. That s the smartest thing about James Keach s movie.
Danny handles sightlessness well while everyone around him considers it a badge of honor, pity or sex appeal.
Certainly there s a movie there somewhere, but this isn t it. His brother, Larry (Eddie Kaye Thomas), is a limo driver for hookers, but Danny s not interested in his clientele. His parents are overprotective, especially when Danny applies for experimental surgery that might restore his sight.
Pine has watched actors play blind people enough times to mimic their head tilts toward sounds, avoidance of eye contact and cane etiquette. He isn t bad, just stuck with a screenplay that is.
His co-stars are embarrassing, starting with Jane Seymour as a psychotherapist who can t resist stripping before her blind patient and Stephen Tobolowski as the surgeon who s too serious for the stupidity around him.
Choosing the nadir of Blind Dating is a tossup.
On one date, Danny tries to conceal his blindness to ensure that the woman is interested in him, not his condition. The dinner reservation is switched to a table he didn t expect, creating several minutes of uncomfortable mishaps.
Har-de-har-har.
Then there are the postsurgery scenes when the camera inserted in his head goes haywire, causing severe headaches and fretful reactions.
Or maybe the scenes of Danny s obvious soulmate, Leeza (Anjali Jay), bristling against her Indian heritage and its tradition of arranged marriage just so the film can mock her ethnicity.
Or any scene involving Larry s sordid clients.
Keach s movie isn t blind; it is just dumb.
Cast: Chris Pine, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Jane Seymour, Anjali Jay
Running time: 95 min.
News RSS