May 25th, 2007 at 13:00 by Stuart Heritage
There was always going to be one inevitable diversion to the recent bust-up between Rosie O Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View - Donald Trump rolling up his sleeves and windmilling into the fray screaming insults as loudly as possible.
So thank heavens that it has finally happened. After a tense day of wondering just when exactly Donald Trump was going to offer his belligerent, finger-jabbing response to the split-screen screechfest between Rosie O Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View this week, Donald Trump came to the rescue late yesterday, unexpectedly deciding to back Rosie O Donnell in the fight and making the observation that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is one of the dumber people in television.
We re torn - while it s heartwarming that Donald Trump is capable of extending an olive branch of sorts to Rosie O Donnell, he s basically just let an opportunity to string together an hour-long tirade of fat lesbian jibes slip through his fingers, and we re not sure we can ever really forgive him for such a schoolboy error.
Part of us wants to call the this week a catfight , but we can t quite bring ourselves to do it since we ve never actually seen a fight between a berserk, obese, borderline paranoid lesbian cat and a right-wing shithead cat who only communicates in high-pitched mermaid squeals, where points are scored by each cat trying to shriek their narrow-minded, semi-informed opinions louder than the other one. But if one of those catfights happened, you can bet that a ginger cat with a ridiculous combover would fly down in his gold-plated helicopter and call them both idiots.
You ll know what happened on The View this week by now. The usual formula of a group of women listening to was dispensed with so that a woman who talks like she s having a stroke could read a list of reasons why George Bush should be fired. This caused Elisabeth Hasselbeck - a woman who s allowed to screech objectionable right-wing pro-gun nonsense on daytime TV because she won a gameshow once - to scream her retaliation at such a high frequency that even bats had trouble understanding it.
In turn, Rosie O Donnell started laying into Elisabeth Hasselbeck in her trademark aggressive way and the whole thing rumbled on tediously between the two of them - in split-screen - until someone said Alicia Silverstone and they all stopped.
Although Elisabeth Hasselbeck has said the feud was resolved instantly, and Rosie O Donnell has written a weird haiku thing about squirrels about it on her blog, it s not too late to Donald Trump to give his take on the matter. Late last year, had a fight where and and somehow.
With this in mind, it seemed obvious that Donald Trump was going to use this new kerfuffle to go after Rosie O Donnell yet again. However, it turns out that Donald is actually on Rosie s side. Sort of.
Here s what Donald Trump told Extra, starting with a reaction to Elisabeth Hasselbeck calling him obnoxious:
Well I am obnoxious, so on that she s right I must say but, y know, Elisabeth is not a very smart person, she s one of the dumber people in television. To see that she supports the war, and she s solidly behind the war, give me a break. This one, I think, Rosie should win, but Rosie s not much herself I think anybody who s against the war in Iraq is the winner in this fight because, to justify the war in Iraq, only an imbecile could do that.
It s hard to see how Rosie O Donnell will respond to Donald Trump s partial backing - should she back down from her self-righteous tirades against him and lose face, or continue to insult him and look like a fool - but it s clear that Elisabeth Hasselbeck needs support from a former guest on The View to balance everything up. And she ll get one, just as soon as into his own mouth.
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