Do you live life in the fast lane? Do you go to bed fast, wake up fast, eat cereal fast, drive to work fast, buy a new Calvin pissing on Ford sticker fast, come home fast, let out the dog fast, eat dinner (fast food) fast and do it all over the next day as rapidly as possible?
The Car Wheel Alarm Clock is made for speed demons such as yourself.
Instead of a buzzer waking you up in the morning, the tire spins, burnout in your bedroom style. A female voice says "the exorcism wool [ning]!" as you quickly wonder if there was a problem with Google translate.
Despite our sarcasm, this clock is bound to be a great gift for someone...
but they probably won't be over the age of 12. Though who am I to judge? Hit the jump for a bonus picture.
Here's an unusual angle on timekeeping that tickles our techno-lust for , and this one's a twisty, affectionately known as the . Its two cylindrical segments revolve around, giving you approximate times of day rather than sticking to that pesky precision to which we've grown so accustomed.
This is a truly odd design which looks like a pipe coming up out of your desk, but gives you a quick answer when someone asks what time it is: "Well, it's about three," you'll say.
We're thinking it's about time somebody came up with a unique clock design like this one. Too bad that uniqueness comes with a $160 price tag.
[Uncommon Goods, via ]
Annoying timekeeping schemes are not just for watches any more, as evidenced by this minimalist LCD E8 eight wall clock from , a company that also makes a .
How does it work? Each of the four columns represents a digit, and sure, it's confusing but we hear it's easy to get used to after a short while. The little indicator halfway up makes it a bit easier, showing you the spot where the 5 is.
Either mount this baby on the wall or prop it up on its own built-in stand, and keep everybody guessing about what time it really is. If all this annoys you, avoid its steep $203 price and use the clock on your $600 cellphone.
This 62-inch-high clock uses a pendulum on a spring to power itself, bouncing up and down and keeping time, just like you used to do when you were dancing The Pogo back in the '80s, or perhaps making your own kind of postmodern music in the backseat.
The minimalist clock has an aluminum face, its stalk is made out of wood, and it sits on a 12-inch square base. If this $198 floor model is a bit much for your taste, click on the gallery below to see the $68 spring-powered wall clock that works in the same way.
What better way to celebrate and commemorate the true coming of spring?
The Sinking Clock by master clockist depicts a certain fatalistic and pathetic mindset whose pessimism is not necessarily representative of your humble Gizmodo narrators, but appreciated by all nonetheless. It's as if the poor thing was flung down onto a desktop and permanently embedded therein. Alas, it's just a design concept.
Somebody build one of these so we can revel in its existential nothingness.
Now a request for Ross: draft a concept just like this one, except instead of an LED alarm clock slammed into a tabletop, make it look just like a Motorola Q half-buried in a brick wall. Then in late June (or maybe later), we'll actually construct one for you in a jiffy, just in time for the iPhone.
[Normal Design, via ]
This is one amazing clock. Called L'Anchrone, its pendulum is activated by the weight of falling ball bearings. The guy took well over 18 months to design and build this intricate masterpiece, going through multiple design convolutions and even consulting an old book from 1894 to figure out exactly how it should be done.
With all of the clinking and clanking noises this thing makes, it's certainly not the kind of clock you'd want in your bedroom, but it's just the kind of fascinating Rube Goldberg machine that becomes even more rare and exceptional as technology marches on. It's all mechanical, consisting of 1,600 parts weighing a total of 660 pounds. It's a beautiful work of art in motion.
[Betrisey.ch, via ]
We have a jones for voice recognition, and of course, there's that clock fetish that we can't seem to shake, so here's an alarm clock that satisfies both: The can actually hear you when you tell it to (well, in so many words). You can also ask the thing what time it is, tell it to play back a recorded memo, and command it to turn on a night light.
If you want to snooze, you just say "snooze," and if you're really out of it, its display even shows you the day of the week.
If you can't stand that honking buzzer that wakes you up every morning, you can get that comely young lady who spent the night at your place last weekend to record a good morning greeting for you on it, and then it will play that back at your designated time instead of those obnoxious and customary alarm noises.
If it weren't so dog-ugly, looking like a front of an Edsel or someone's mouth with his cheeks pinched together attempting to enunciate the phrase "Porky Pig," we might even be interested in something like this.
Expected to ship on April 27th, it'll be $59.95.
Okay, now the have gone too far.
The extorts money from you in order to shut the fuck up. Here's one device we hope will stay in Japan, where they're selling it right now for $50. But it looks like it would be easy to defeat, with a simple unplug instead of giving up the cash.
Even though we like its minimalist cube-shaped design and variety of primary and monochromatic colors, there's something about an extortionist alarm clock that rubs us the wrong way. Heck, we'd give them $50 to keep it out of our house.
(Japanese) [Plywood, via ]
Here's a two-thirds scale bust of Ludwig Van, wearing a pair of Vuarnets and reminding us of what time it is.
Judging from his expression, it looks like the old master isn't too joyful joyful about wearing these shades; he could thinking about committing some of the ultra-viol, my little droogies. We think this statue looks more like Bill Murray than Beethoven, anyway.
This bust/clock has now become a collector's item mdash;there were only 100 of them produced at an undisclosed price.
Dang. We were getting ready to place this one right next to our statue of Mozart in a bikini.
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