Women who proudly declare they re standing by their man are displaying more strength than weakness, writes Ann Dermody WITH her neat baby bump, stylish clothes and megawatt smile, Myleene Klass is used to being at the forefront of setting trends. And her turn on I m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here showed a charm and tolerance under pressure that made her a role model for many. Klass also seems to be at the forefront of a movement that s been quietly growing over the past few years that of a high-profile woman standing by her man even when the proverbial do da hits the fan.
Klass spoke this week about how her Irish fianc Graham Quinn turned his life around after a drug arrest for heroin in Dublin in 1996 and how she was proudly standing by him. People thought I might not stand by him but what sort of person would that have made me? she asked.
Klass stood calmly by as Quinn faced a court case in 2005 for which he received a suspended sentence. Now the pair, who are expecting a baby daughter soon, plan to marry after the birth. Though the couple admitted they d braced themselves for a backlash, the general reaction from the public was a good on her clap on the back for Klass.
Her decision was admirable in many respects but it is hardly surprising that someone should lend support to a loved one in a time of need. What is surprising is how much our thinking has changed on the topic over the past decade. Just a few years ago, Klass would have been facing a gauntlet of public sneering for staying with any man who dared to have flaws.
Hillary Clinton is credited with many things, good and bad, but one of the more surprising ones is how she changed the thinking on faithfulness in marriage. The public mortification Hillary faced when the Monica Lewinsky scandal exploded surrounding then US president Bill Clinton must have been excruciating. Here, after all, was a woman who d once been famous for saying on Bill s 1992 Presidential campaign: I m not sitting here as some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette.
I m sitting here because I love him and I respect him, and I honour what he s been through and what we ve been through together. Yet seven years later, she was being reviled in certain quarters for living by the very principles she had denigrated. Debates raged about how Hillary was letting down not only herself but entire womankind and the whole feminist movement by choosing to try to save her marriage.
But from the depths of the debate, another opinion emerged. This one argued that the whole idea behind the feminist movement was to give women freedom of choice and that included saving a fraying marriage if they were so inclined. Since then, the assumption that an affair is an instant knock-out punch for any marriage seems to have dissipated somewhat.
Elizabeth Hurley was equally scoffed at for staying put after her long-term boyfriend Hugh Grant had his infamous turn in a car with Divine Brown in LA. Few at the time could understand why a beautiful woman would stay with a man who had caused her such public humiliation. Though there were several steely-faced photos of Liz, her decision to stick with Grant did neither of their careers any harm.
In the grab-all 1980s women who remained with men whose failings became public were looked down upon by their sisters. Ivana Trump s don t get mad, get everything line became something of a mantra for women who d been cheated on the world over. But somewhere along the way we came over all peace, love and forgiveness.
Several celebrity careers have flourished despite bad publicity in recent years meaning being seen with a flawed man is not necessarily fatal for your career. Kate Moss s drug-taking and persistence in standing by Pete Doherty being a case in point. Or maybe we ve finally realised that nobody s life can be judged lest we walk 10 miles in their shoes.
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