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Work While Drunk - Category: Photography

Work While Drunk - Category: Photography
Amber Swift  |  by www.workwhiledrunk.com. All rights reserved. 17.07 | 7:14

11:33:29 am, Categories: , ,

It has snowed. I knew it was going to snow, in fact I d be surprised if anyone in the south east of England didn t know. I got up early to check out the scene outside and to check the travel news.

Outside it was all white. Beautiful.
The travel report was OK.

My train operator said it had run trains all night and was doing its best this morning to minimise disruptions caused by the weather. The National Rail website was taking a hammering, but when it finally loaded the prognosis was fair, so off I set.
It was cold but beautiful.

I eventually arrived at the station, covered in snow, to be presented with a board of unspecified delays. The announcements progressed something like this:

  • We are sorry to report that you train has been delayed, more information when we get it.
  • An update for you, your train is running approx 5 minutes late.

    This is due to, well obviously, snow.

  • I m very sorry to report that your train is running 15 minutes late due to that pesky snow stuff.
  • Sorry about this, but your train is running approx 29 minutes late.

    I m not sure why, but and this is only a guess it might have something to do with the snow.

  • Erm, right, Really sorry about this but I don t know when its going to be here. The Phones have gone down.

    All I know is that its very delayed, and at last report it was last seen in the Hitchin area (miles away), and was in a queue with 4 other trains. If you can go home, I d do that. Obviously I personally can t, unfortunately.

    More news if we get any. Umm, sorry.

    • Well, at least they were trying.

    The few people who bothered to try to get to work were in quite high spirits. Its probably the most smiles I ve had in one morning. I decided to head home.

    There were a lot of families out playing in the snow which was quite touching. Seems like a lot of people abstained from work today. Very sensible.

    I did encounter one industrious kid on the way home who was playing in the snow with his sister.
    I ve been told I look like a fair few different celebrities over the years. Some say I look a bit like Ben Stiller, especially when I m being sarcastically serious.

    I ve been told that my silly closed mouth grin makes me look like Stan Laurel. And most recently I ve been told I am a likeness to the young darts champion Michael van Gerwen. So when I came across the celebrity face recognition system at , I thought I d know exactly what to expect.

    Here s what it came up with:
    So Ben Stiller really does look like me. Trying a few other photos yielded similar results. Interesting the Olsen twins featured on almost all of the matches, which makes me think that some of the thoughts I ve had about those two young ladies might actually be a tad auto-erotic and I m not entirely sure I like the idea of that.

    Another spooky common match was Bing Crosby:
    Why s that spooky you might ask Well I was born literally minutes after he died (if you work out the time difference). My mum has told me before that she remembers hearing the announcement of his death on the radio during her labour, just before I was born. Could I be Bing reincarnated?

    I might have his way with the ladies, at times, but I certainly don t have his singing voice.

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    Keywords: Ben Stiller
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